I watched them play yesterday
on the beaches of Normandy;
in the sand once red with blood,
covered in bodies,
shot through with bullets,
filled with shrapnel.
I walked through the cemeteries
with crosses in straight rows;
names of young men and women,
of unknown soldiers who fell
giving the greatest gift for peace -
their life.
Each year I remember them
and their supreme sacrifice;
youth of each generation
taking up arms to protect freedom.
History repeats itself again
as casualties continue to increase.
May we never forget their bravery,
their smiles, their excitement;
let us cherish what they still fight for,
freedom for the free,
in the past, the present
and for all future generations.
Author notes
POW
Theme of Remembrance of those who sacrifice throughout history - then, now and in the future.
POY as well
In a list
A contest entry
- Poem of the Week ( POW ) by Arkbear.
750 points, ended November 12, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poem of the Year ( POY ) by Arkbear.
13750 points, ended January 4, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
-
First, I've read other poems of yours and feel you write beautifully. For me your poems tend to tell and preach rather thamn show. In this poem you did better until the last stanza. I said yes to this poem because I wanted to tell you that I admire the beauty with which you express yourself.
I beleive I see an extra comma or two. Telling rather than showing is one thing I believe negatively affects what I call 'poetic value' and deminishes the emotional impact. Your title is a little 'telling' and a bit too easy.
Clarity: 10.0
Structure: 10.0
(rhyme & meter)
(line breaks & structure)
Grammar: 10.0
Punctuation: 8.0
Use of Language: 10.0
Poetic Value: 8.0
Uniqueness: 10.0
Impact: 8.0
Theme: 10.0
Title: 9.0
Total: 93.0
-
Yes
A wonderful choice for your prewrite, Erika.
I enjoyed reading this again, and while I don't remember it exactly as it was before, I remember there were a few things that brought the score down a tad bit last time. Let's see how it does this time, eh? 
Good luck, and happy new year,
~J. -
-
Last time it was a coloured background and a picture that brought it down, ~J
So very glad that it got changed... as some other people didn't bother to change the backgrounds on their poems
-
-
Yes~
Bravo, dearie
good luck -
Yes
Good luck. -
Yes ~
Excellent editing Erika ~
The best to you with this entry,
Bear ~
-
9pts...
Thank you for this wonderful contribution to The Poetic Bandits reading list
~Lilac
-
Salute!
Beautifully penned tribute to the soldiers who have given the ultimate sacrifice for the freeedoms which we enjoy. I hope we never forget but honor those to whom honor is due. Well done my friend!
Dennis
-
Beautifully penned !
Wow...what a powerful message you have penned here Very well written indeed and I wish you all the best of luck in this contest 
-
This is such an amazing poem... it realy makes the reality of what has happened and what IS happening hit home... This poem left me speechless... it is beautiful, sincere, and (in my opinion) one of the most wonderful dedications of this nature that I have ever read...
Keep writing
Polly
-
I am never really good at writing for pow. This is a nice tribute. Not everyone can join the military. I am not a military person. I am glad that there are people who want to do it.
-
What a credit to you, this poem is !!
This is a gorgeous poem, it really touched me. It is such a sensitive poem ! A very sophisticated one. I love the use of the powerful wording expressed within this piece, and i feel that this is such a creditable poem to dedicate to the war. It was a horrible thing for people to go through.
I really appreciate the time and effort you spent on this poem.
Thanks and good luck -
Guilty ( Everybody"s Guilty)
Thanks for entering my contest< I will be commenting when it is over. Good Luck! -
What a wonderful poem... so very close to winning the POW, too...
thanks for sharing, hon
Z
-
Absolutley gorgeous!!! You humble me with this wonderful poem you have written to help us remember all those who have fallen!!!
-
Very moving, my brothers father-in-law was at Bastone as were other men from my hometown. My Grandfather was in WWI, my fathers war was Korea, for my brother and I it was Viet Nam. I hope and pray that my Grandchildren will not have a war to call theirs. God bless the Troops fighting today so very far from Home and God Bless the U.S.A.
-
This is a great poem.
-
This has an awesome message. Too many have forgotten what Veteran's Day is supposed to signify. Wonderful descriptions, particularly within the first stanza.
-
A very moving and touching write!
I really love to read poems such as this, it warms my heart to know so many people are still grateful.
You really penned a beautiful piece here and you should most definatley feel pride in this poem you've created.
Thank You for sharing this with us!
Blessings~
-
This a very heartfelt piece in honor to our falling heroes, you know they gave their own life so we can be safe, and a world where the Innocent really served as bait, i hope we never forgot these braves people, which we don't know, but sacrifice their own soul for us, this is a well put together piece, and i'm really glad you wrote it, as you know you are one of my favorite here, and i respect you for doing this.
-
Nice and patriotic. That truly is the ultimate sacrifice. Liked the descriptiption of the first section especially.
-
EXCELLENT
-
Awww heart rending~ sends out a wave of painful remembrance. Worthy for the cause yet very sad to know they have given their lives for it.
Wonderfully penned Some worthy tribute this is!
-
Powerful and timely, a nice well written piece, if not in my preferred style :-)
-
very nice a wonderful piece of poetry to honor those who lay down their lives for others freedom
well done -
great
a good tribute to those that have fallen -
beautiful
Quite moving. You are very good at this. Keep up the good work.
PoirsBaby
-
A beautiful heartfelt write and message. Deep expression of emotion. Good imagery, flow and tone. Good word choice and alliteration. This is something none of us should ever forget. The brave men and women who have given their lives for our freedom. Well crafted and a much enjoyed read. Best wishes in the contest.
-
How heartfelt, this tribute to the fallen. It has been a forgotton subject in poetry lately and yet there is so much to be said, as you have here in every line, you missed nothing it is almost as if you had been there.
-
Extremly strong write my friend. you have penned a beautiful tribute to all our servicemen, both alive and those who gave their all. Thanks for the wonderful read...God bless them all.
-
This was wonderful. I am prety glad that I decided ti read this. you did a good job with this.
....Simply Me♥ -
You are wonderful! This is so great! This is a story that everyone needs to hear. I'm so glad I clicked here. This is so clear and vivid and these young men and women deserve the recognition you have paid them.
Love,
Amera♥
-
This is wonderful, Erika...your thoughts and imagery both are rich and warm. I agree with Bear on the capping of your title. I also think there might be a better title out there that would match the power of the words, but that's just me. (And I am actually really lousy at titles myself.
) Your presentation would be perfect if not for Rule #10!!! 
There's so much I like about this and very little to critique. I think I will let my score speak the rest. (Just remember it will actually be lower than the quality of the poem, due to the rules.)
Thank you for your entry, and good luck!
Best wishes,
~J. -
Wonderful! This is a beautiful poem with such feeling in every word. Shame about the background It is a great theme and perfect timing, here is you score...
Total ~~ 97.4
A great score, I really hope to see you again next time -
Superb ~
This is the time to pull this Theme out of your Inkwell Erika.......thank you for such a wonderful and heartfelt entry ~
There is nothing I can see right off, which I can critique about this entry ~
Yes....a few punctuations here and there, but nothing too serious to deduct any major points ~
Oh crap.......yes there is...........I was sooo distracted because of the excellence of this write.....that I forgot about Rule # 10......no graphics.....no Borders.....etc ~
OY!!!!
This was fixing to win Gold standing in my opinion.....but the Rules are rules ~
DARN!
Also....I think your Title should have been Capped more ~
Brother Bear loves ya Hun, but I have to score it accordingly,
good luck Hun,
Bear ~
Title 9.75
Flow 9.85
Depth 10
Theme 10
Feelings 10
Grammar 9.95
Presentation 8.85
Uncommonness 9.85
Sit & Ponder Affect 10
Ability to follow Rules 9
Bears Score: 98.25
Nice job!
-
This spoke gently of those who gave their lives, so that we might know peace. Well done Grannyeri and good luck in the contest
-
Have you been watching 'Saving Private Ryan' again? LOL.... this is a fitting tribute to the brave gran. We do still take for granted the freedoms that have been bought in blood of our finest. Peace and harmony.... Desi
Adding your comment:
1 - 37 of 37
