We're like the piece of bread that falls
buttered-side-down on society's dirty kitchen floor:
When picked-up, we don't choose what sticks
or what falls.
'Cause it's post-modernism baby
just floating in image-soup
a high- pop- low- culture alphaghetti
and we don't know if its worth eating.
Sometimes we read OOOOOOOOOO
on the surface of the bowl.
Sometimes we don't read anything at all
'cause we're too busy looking at the spoon.
Author notes
I wrote this while parachuting at 13 000 feet. I had 3 minutes to write. It was very windy.
A contest entry
- No Perfection by xTomorrowx.
500 points, ended June 6, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How was your day today?
Comments
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Ok, so I read the below comment, and that comment tells me I've found exactly what I was looking for, something someone wrote and could be very proud of but which isn't accepted because it isn't written as that reader wants it to be written...
I like it, it's really good especially considering you wrote it in mid-air...
Thanks for entering and good luck! =) -
Seems like it's trying to hard, this poem. Actually, as a poem it fails, because you are preaching, not showing. Your thought and your form are at odds. Mostly what you're doing is presenting an extended metaphor, but the metaphor in no way requires the poetic form you've applied. In fact, if you removed the line breaks, this would read and look exactly like prose.
I realize you wrote it mid-air. I have to ask, though, if you are posting for the express purpose of telling your readers you were in mid-air when you wrote.
It's a great metaphor, but it's not a poem.
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