I
Her eye was caught by a distant name,
unfamiliar and yet not quite.
Inspired, she followed a dream that came
from somewhere deep in her quiet heart,
a link that led to an unexpected hope,
born of intuitive sense
cradled in bamboo song,
confirmed by a kindred voice that helped console
the reign of a keen unrest
that troubled her, unconfessed.
Canticles from another time
settled near
in the curve of her ear,
bringing a dark horizon light,
raising the sun
where a half-moon hung,
until her soul, embraced by vibrant hues
of promise, once again became her cherished home.
II
He felt the touch of a silken tongue
brush his mind from across the world
with observations and thoughts, half sung
in accents cast from a dreamtime mold.
Intrigued, he listened to every tuneful word
whispered with delicate breath
soft as a moonstone breeze,
expressed from a place of enigmatic birth,
where steady Pacific rains
sang life in refined refrains
straight to his heart through lays unknown
to his ear,
just abolishing fear,
welcoming home forgotten hopes
faded within,
but arisen again
like morning rays on cloudscapes scattered far,
igniting new horizons to vibrant shades of faith.
III
Their pasts unravel thread
into a bright new tapestry.
They're both reborn and dead
to what was once and what will be.
Visions leap before their view,
revealing possibilities,
and each is clear on what to do
to make them actualities.
And so begins
the recreation of their lives
as deep within
a transformation of their minds
reveals the way
to stand forever side by side.
The best thread of their days is used
in the shuttle of their unity
to weave a scene they know by trust
on a loom of shared serenity.
In a list
Thoughts, Feelings, Interpretations, Experience: [Reward: double points]
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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The best thread of their days is used
in the shuttle of their unity
to weave a scene they know by trust
on a loom of shared serenity.
Awesome! Congrats on making the spotlight!!
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Glad you enjoyed. Thankee.
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Especially loved the last line........but the whole piece is awesome! Wow .............what a write!
. Rewarded 4
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Thank you. Very glad you enjoyed this. This poem stands out as one of my personal favorites as well.
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If this poem is about PlayfulPassion as in "Joy". I must say, you have captured the sheer essence of my angel/sister with these well chosen words.
These lines make me know you know!
"Her eye was caught by a distant name,
unfamiliar and yet not quite.
Inspired, she followed a dream that came
from somewhere deep in her quiet heart,
a link that led to an unexpected hope,
born of intuitive sense
cradled in bamboo song,
confirmed by a kindred voice that helped console
the reign of a keen unrest
that troubled her, unconfessed."
Exquisite work! There is so much detail here.
~Sigh
Simply beautiful poetry. Joy is a joy!
Much Love ♥
Renee
. Rewarded 8
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Ah Renee it's nice to hear from you. This is actually written to my fiancee. I'm curious if you would be able to guess why it's called a synthetic ode.
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This is beautiful. The imagery is stunning. Everybody who reads this will be drawn in and sucked under. At the end, when we gently emerge, we want to go back in again. If you enter this in any fitting contest, you will be sure to win gold. Lovely, lovely, lovely. The real image of perfection.
. Rewarded 6
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That was my hope! To draw people into this read and hold them. I'm not sure if I'd enter this into a contest, here or anywhere else though. I think of this poem as being in a class all its own, and not ready to be placed in comparison with any other works.
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There is nothing wrong with this...that's all I can say. It's perfection and I wish that I had written it. I am so envious!
. Rewarded 4
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Glad you liked! I'm working on my next synthetic ode right now. They're delicate creatures, and must be written carefully and with thought. Thanks for your compliments and your kudos!
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this is when i got so absorbed and in the end i was...
just awed and speechless
like witnessing magic before my very eyes
. Rewarded 4
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It was is and will be a magical experience. And the person this is written for, Joy herself, is just as magical. You'd like her.
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nice written
i liked it and enjoyed reading it ,,,,cheers!
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This is more than just a story of love. It is a story of perfection--for two spirits seasoned by time, weathered by storms, guided by love. With their meeting, the two came ready to travel the final term of their existence and, as you so beautifully stitched it, "use the best thread of their days in the shuttle of their unity, to weave a scene they know by trust on a loom of shared serenity."
It takes a very gifted spirit to tell a story as titanic as this in a very few lines. It takes a sincerely inspired heart to toss these details, weave them together with the sweetest and most tender of words, embed them altogether in a most peaceful melody and wrap with such melodic peace.
What a story and what a write!
. Rewarded 8
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By the way...
among all your works, this is my most favorite. Maybe because it's an ode. Maybe in my previous life, I am one. Or maybe I, my life, my existence is an ode in progress. Actually, I think there is an ode in progress in each of us and it is mostly molded in the way of this form you call synthetic ode.
You know what I strongly sense? You have opened for yourself one golden opportunity in exploring this form. I think among all your structural explorations, this promises to put you in your place as a poet of your generation. I can even see history making reference to your synthetic ode as Zahharic Ode.
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Very well done!Mystical and enchanting and of a definite higher vibration than what is typically found in this realm. You expand the universe with your presence in it, to the benefit of many. Thank you.
. Rewarded 4
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After reading this several times I could break this poetry down and pen you a novel here. I'm not sure if that is appropriate nor welcomed.
I will just say that I enjoyed this immensely and the thought of this possibly happening between 2 people is the ultimate dream of a reality. Two people that walk both realms, to be able to energetically/astral connect, to co-create their bonds from past, into the present and onto their future displays many facets of love.
Moonstone is such a balancer of healing and emotions- just perfect to define this with.
You truly leave the reader with many impressions that are full of peace and serenity to the heart & mind.
Thank you for that
Blessings~
~Joy
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After a few exchanges and returning to your author's page from an extended period of time, I was intrigued/drawn to the title of this piece of poetry.
As I am speechless, for a lack of a better word at the moment... I AM happy that I have returned to your page again to find this treasure.
At the moment, I am unable to give this justice. I shall return though- fairwarning
With the most humblest that I can offer,
for whatever provoked me to return and read your work,
"Thank you"~
Although it's not for me, I enjoyed it none the less
~Joy
. Rewarded 8
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I like the rhyme
Mental telepathy between a man and woman on opposite sides of the world who had connected in the past.
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. Rewarded 4
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And in the present, and in time, and between the stars. Maybe they're astrally projected from the consciousnesses of each sun in a binary star system?
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One of your best...
I remember asking you if you believed that there was one person out there just for you and your answer was a bit unhopeful..if that is a word... I would ask again today but I think all of my wonderings have ceased after taking the time to read this masterpiece.
"He felt the touch of a silken tongue
brush his mind from across the world
with observations and thoughts, half sung
in accents cast from a dreamtime mold.
Intrigued, he listened to every tuneful word
whispered with delicate breath
soft as a moonstone breeze,..."
I know this exactly... not from across the world, but more right in front of me... this person has deserved to have a friend hang on his every word... he rambles without ceasing for a good 15 minutes and then I wish he wouldn't have stopped when he finally does...lol.
"soft as a moonstone breeze.." indeed...I think I would describe her as that also...
She has a softness to her spirit but a very strong will...quite a combination that doesn't go unnoticed...
"Visions leap before their view,
revealing possibilities,"
yes I would say so..hopefully more and more each day.
The next more beautiful than the one before I am sure.
Mr. ecrivain dived into your use of meter and musical sounds that had some off words...lol...but um..I think I am more able at just praising your emotion and serenity...but most of all your belief in the unseen...that is always to be admired above all other abilities.... Fantastic write Sir Goofball...
Kay L. Anders
. Rewarded 8
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Interesting write ...
but the meter kept throwing me. I was reading it aloud and I kept tripping over the off words. This has a very peaceful feel to it, and I imagine you were thinking of that when you wrote "quiet" heart, but to me, hearts are not quiet unless they are dead, so that also stopped me for a minute.
I have to say that reading this was an adventure of sorts. It seemed to me that it was almost musical, despite the variations in meter that kept throwing me off while reading it.
Anyway, I always enjoy reading your poems, even if I do sometimes have problems with reading them aloud.
. Rewarded 8
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The meter is a bit of a challenge alright. One of the big challenges indeed of tackling the ode structure of Pindar, which means that each and every ode I write will have its own structure, but that the structure between parts I and II will always be identical, while part III will venture off on its own structural experiments, perhaps sometimes even mirroring (inverse to) the structure of the two parts before.
In Pindar's odes these were the strophe and antistrophe, while the last portion, the epode was a mere one line summary of the poem's content, main idea, or reflection. I'm taking great liberty with the epodic portion, renamed for this recreation of the form--the synthetic ode--as the synthesis. Parts I and II are the thesis and antithesis, while part III will combine some aspect of the main elements depicted, conveyed, or otherwise expressed in or as the thesis and antithesis as the synthesis.
This is how I plan to combine Hegel's theory of synthesis with the Pindaric ode to make the synthetic ode. I'm pretty excited about the possibilities and what I'll learn from the exploration of this form. -
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At the very least ...
you will never be bored.
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