Ewe sea for whore's men
hand Yore knot shure
butt yew herd
there ah bad sine
tolled inn Ax
bye St. Pall
oar sum wholly righting
buy the Prints of Piece.
Dew eye prey inn vein?
Four weir awl week
inn this whirled!
Sum soles suede strait two
Heaven, otters
bin throne too waist wear
offal whales of pane rain:
caste inn two Hell!
Chews write!
Hour reel kneed
nose know sealing!
Dammed brewed!
Flea awl lyes!
Halve hire cite!
Heal meat yew--
brake yore yolk!
Malled, tide two would, pooring
vanes; grate wholly won!
Ewe
dyed fore are berth!
Wheel prays ewe four wee
Canne knot urn
knew Life--
oar flea thyme--
hour pale faux
yew sleighed wen
Ewe
ROSE!
Author notes
Serendipity in Spades! Okay, maybe not the biggest words, but come on, EVERY word in this one is a different word than the meaning word...talk about alternate universe, THIS IS IT. I invented this months ago, and felt I had really done something innovative: but no GOLD. Hopefully YOU will appreciate the difficulty, creativity, etc., behind this! It is pretty crazy. Moor pros eye cant mussel! If you are having trouble with this, go to my page and look at "Ewe Rose (You Rose)Translation".
A contest entry
- First step to being a featured Poet by W B Burkholder.
300 points, ended November 11, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Allpoetry and Winklings combined Autumn Poet Laureate. by Lyndon.
1830 points, ended December 8, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tell me all your thoughts on God by strangerforeigner.
600 points, ended February 14, 2008, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - To Everyone Lacking Awards by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended March 5, 2008, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Street Cars and Lovers by Annexed Josephine.
1120 points, ended May 8, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gimme Damger Four Anyrhing Goes by Master Anarchy.
444 points, ended August 22, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tri two sea the for rest .
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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An idea, a rose.
What does “butt yew herd” allude to, other than the phonemically similar? “Many splinters in one’s posterior region”? Being clever is not the ascends of wit. “Butt yew hard blocks”, alluding to the printing press and hard men, might suit better, n’est pas?
And the same refrain echoes again, and again, as not a gain, in the course of the poem. I appreciate the modulation of meaning by way of manipulation of phonemes, and believe the last four lines ( “hour pale faux…ROSE!” ), if not the unnecessary capitalization there concomittant with, are wonderful, for all the lead up speaks not to well, to me, thereof. But the veneer that films the piece in such unelucidatory permutations as “Canne” ‘s detracts rather than adds, and leaves at least this reader to peer into his own creativity for a better alternative, rat herd den muching urp day burp untinneded.
I do applaud the idea of the form and the facility hear displayed, and may consider it goad to half layed of song the Bronze which says not to badde, gnut huff wrung.
Master A.
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Holy crap. I have never seen such great worrding in all my life. Yyour choice of words is stunning and makes this poem even better.
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Fort of Lees? Monk Keys!!!
Wouldst knot "Fore weir" by way of preferance become?
Similarly, "Heaving otters"?
"caste inn twain Hell!" - for the rhyme with "rain"?
*******
This is a good accomodation of the bowdlerised style so beloved of jongleurs and minstrels thorughout time. [If you hold to the roomer one hawaiiansolt inseminated such conceptions as these all, said h. mare'st be olter than I weaned was.] I therefore accolade.
**************
"knead" - to suggest the "write" 's nature? or "kneed", as in "to the balls", were intended?
Or, "How are reel kneed/nose ...", for a juxtaposition even B.Lee would be priddy off?
"poor ring/ vains"? - yet, of course, it is I that, rich, mine mine insight at this site in poverty before the Moth Err Load off Reaches ye be off ring, like a Niche spaken for Thar Spar Thrust A'en Moot Inn.
So I decyst, pustulent my corpuscle, and splurge out into an Abbess more moan as stick there for.
MA
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I have to work way too hard to read this! I don't mean to seem harsh, but I don't have much appreciation for gimicks, and I'm glad you submitted the plain-English version. I'm off to read it now!
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Real thing
This wasn't a gimick, friend. This was a whole night of hard work. You may find that with another few reads, the words tell a "sound" poem when heard, but reads much differently in some areas when "read" with the eyes alone. I call it creativity, and as far as I know, I've invented this particular format. I hope no one tries to copy me. But I understand! It IS hard. Most gave up when I didn't provide the "translation"! Ha! Thanks! Aloha!
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I would rather read this in plain English than in homonyms, because your message is lost in the dictionary. "Dyed" in this case means we are washed whiter than snow - say it!
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I did.
I did say it. You will unravel even more if you give more attention to the poem in its "untranslated" form. It isn't as powerful or meaningful in the translation. The depth arises from what happened to you with only one of the words: dyed. This poem is pretty inspired, and you might be surprised if you gave it another look. It will begin to open to you. I hope. Aloha! -
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I still disagree, however, you use your poetic licence with panache. Best wishes!
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2 many trees ...
Oh my gosh! and I'm glad that I could find the translation ... Thanks for the tip! I would have loved to see you post the translation for your entry but ...I can appreciate that your poem, as posted, was a great challenge for you to write and you in turn must appreciate that it took fortitude for me to want to try and decipher it all. A sudoku might have been easier! The message was a fine one and I certainly have to applaud you for all the time you must have spent working out both versions. joy
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Had a hard time reading
I will try reading again later -
thanks for entering
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WOW
this is truely amazing, I am awed at the amount of time and effort it must have taken to think of and to write this. I love the subject you chose.
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Mind Bending!
This exercise really tweaked my brain...I think I'm having an aneurysm...eye is twitching. But thanks for the inspiration to do this. For me it was ground-breaking. Hope you enjoy it. -
Very unique type of writing in this! I liked the spelling of the words and how this poem just clicked. WAY TO GO!!
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