I.
Beneath cement is buried green
As twisters churn the thinning air
And honeybees have lost their queen
Entombed inside our human lair
As twisters churn the thinning air
Trees are bent into lifeless bark
Entombed inside our human lair
Nature is naught but empty ark
Trees are bent into lifeless bark
Scattered across the darkened plain
Nature is naught but empty ark
Built from the life that we have slain
Scattered across the darkened plain
Towers of progress rise in gray
Built from the life that we have slain
Now all our dreams are made of clay
Towers of progress rise in gray
Hives to nurture our disregard
Now all our dreams are made of clay
Earth naked and forever scarred
Hives to nurture our disregard
And honeybees have lost their queen
Earth naked and forever scarred
Beneath cement is buried green
II.
Where once grew a tiny green sprig
Branching out to become a tree
As man picked blossoms and a fig
Back when the world was young and free
Branching out to become a tree
Where birds would wile away the day
Back when the world was young and free
Before man turned emotion gray
Where birds would wile away the day
With feathers wafting in the air
Before man turned emotion gray
And we were too blasé to care
With feathers wafting in the breeze
The air filled with beautiful voice
And we were too blasé to care
Misusing nature’s lovely choice
The air filled with beautiful voice
Honeybees buzz about with glee
Misusing nature’s lovely choice
Signing death’s ultimate decree
Honeybees buzz about with glee
As man picked blossoms and a fig
Signing Death’s ultimate decree
Where once grew a tiny green sprig
III.
And now the world is desert bound
Hyenas howling at their gloom
For only bones are ever found
Buried in nature’s dying womb
Hyenas howling at their gloom
Eyes glowing with an inner pain
Buried in nature’s dying womb
Graves of the wretchedly insane
Eyes glowing with an inner pain
No sun, no moon, no shining star
Graves of the wretchedly insane
Marking who and what we all are
No sun, no moon, no shining star
Only ignorance guides our way
Marking who and what we all are
Ashes to ashes, mud to clay
Only ignorance guides our way
Compassion lost upon the tongue
Ashes to ashes, mud to clay
Platitudes all that will be sung
Compassion lost upon the tongue
For only bones are ever found
Platitudes all that will be sung
And now the world is desert bound
IV.
Lamenting our forsaken green
Images from the distant past
Where color will never be seen
As fruits of nature did not last
Images from the distant past
Regretful tears cried much too late
As fruits of nature did not last
Only ourselves can we now hate
Regretful tears cried much too late
In sadness we now stand alone
Only ourselves can we now hate
As we tread upon nature’s bone
In sadness we now stand alone
No hope nor spiritual gain
As we tread upon nature’s bone
The question is "will man remain"
No hope nor spiritual gain
Living inside our own worst fears
The question is "will man remain?"
As seas run dry, just like our tears
Living inside our own worst fears
Where color will never be seen
As seas run dry, just like our tears
Lamenting our forsaken green
Author notes
I have written a 4 poem chain of pantoums with six quatrains per poem flowing from the same topic, with an eight syllable count per line.
Pantoum
The pantoum consists of a series of quatrains rhyming ABAB in which the second and fourth lines
of a quatrain recur as the first and third lines in the succeeding quatrain; each quatrain introduces a
new second rhyme as BCBC, CDCD. The first line of the series recurs as the last line of the closing
quatrain, and third line of the poem recurs as the second line of the closing quatrain, rhyming ZAZA.
The design is simple:
Line 1
Line 2
Line 3
Line 4
Line 5 (repeat of line 2)
Line 6
Line 7 (repeat of line 4)
Line 8
Continue with as many stanzas as you wish, but the ending stanza then repeats the second and
fourth lines of the previous stanza (as its first and third lines), and also repeats the third line of
the first stanza, as its second line, and the first line of the first stanza as its fourth. So the first
line of the poem is also the last.
Last stanza:
Line 2 of previous stanza
Line 3 of first stanza
Line 4 of previous stanza
Line 1 of first stanza
In a list
A contest entry
- AllPoetry's Most Well-Rounded Poet - Round Four by CitrineSunrise.
1600 points, ended December 1, 2007, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want Gold Trophy Winners Judged by RedwingSpirit.
900 points, ended January 11, 2008, 58 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - YOUR BEST PREWRITE OF 2007 - 12 ENTRIES ONLY by maa.
521 points, ended January 4, 2008, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - by xxRainbowDawnxx.
600 points, ended June 18, 2008, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Ahhh beautifully wrote, I am adoring this. It's so hard to write form poems and I do love your inner touch with nature and rhyme.
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you've done a killer job on this
all i can say is 'wow!'
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This is an unbelievable work - not only its form, but its content too. I felt honored to have read it. Congratulations on the gold. Frans
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And a hell of a job on it ...
you've done. (Sorry, couldn't resist the inverted line after reading yours).
Inverted lines in English are not a good thing in modern poetry, and since the rest of this is so perfect, it's really a shame to damage the poem that way.
Only ourselves can we now hate
Why not
"We're left with just ourselves to hate"?
so that the line sounds like English from the 21st Century and not like the 18th?
Anyway, that aside, this is a stunning tour de force. I am impressed. No wonder you beat out my poem for the Gold.
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this poem deeply touches me ... not only do I love pantoums, but your message is one that is universal and it is so important that we hear the voice of our Mother Earth ... thank you for being one of her messengers ...
maa
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Cupcrazy , I've seen this one before Was a beautiful Poem Deserving The Gold. Love the form too. Thank you for entering I wish you the best of luck in my contest
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congrats
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This was a beautiful poem, typical of your gifts for rhyme and lyricism. I have never attempted this form because of its intricate pattern. You have used it to perfection. I have learned to be a better poet by reading your works. Congratulations on this poem and all your entries in this contest. You are very talented and, to my mind, All Poetry's most well rounded poet. Peace, Liz
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Nice to see this form of poetry used in this write. Liked the flow, the repetition and the rhythm and rhyme. Wish you well in this contest.
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well written
This is very interesting.I am gonna try to do a quatrain and a pantoum on my own later. Get back to me after if you can. I would like to learn new styles. I also like to write a lot so I think I can do it.? Wish me luck!
Melanie
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A lot of wonderful words on a subject that takwes my heart. The only way to describe this write is, it is pure art. Thank you for sharing.
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This is such a delicate, intricate, stunning piece of amazing artistry. I'll admit, when I first opened it, I thought 'oh lord, a long one', but I was immediately enthralled.
The form and word usage was so incredibly effective, I couldn't stop reading. I love the repetition ofpowerful lines. great job. I can't wait to read more!!! -
Beneath cement is buried green
As twisters churn the thinning air
And honeybees have lost their queen
Entombed inside our human liar
Not sure if air and liar rhyme
I don't think they do
Now, this is fantastic.
"Scattered across the darkened plain
Towers of progress rise in gray
Built from the life that we have slain
Now all our dreams are made of clay "
And now the world is desert bound
Hyenas howling at the moon
For only bones are ever found
Buried in nature’s dying womb
Moon and womb do not rhyme
This is brilliant
"With ignorance to guide our way
Compassion lost upon the tongue
Ashes to ashes, mud to clay
Platitudes all that will be sung"
This is a great write. I am like wow, you blow me away. Now, with all honesty, how long did it take you to write this piece. It is kind of long, and it is not a waste. In order to have all these fascinating thoughts, it had to take you quite a while to do this.
I love it. Great flow. Keep up the great work and thank you for sharing. Happy early thanksgiving
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