I woke to sounds of a carousel,
as others had made their way.
Sights and smells of a carnival
creates anxiety for the new day.
So many options, confusion's near
indecision pollinates all doubt.
Paralyzed by a self induced fear,
The Express is the best way out.
Life's roller-coaster is itself,
and finally it's our time to go.
No signs of sound mental health,
yet, this mode is all we know.
We begin a slow steady ascent,
producing terror and elation.
Screams mask cries of descent,
as living hell is our vacation.
Viewing life from high above,
while speeding to the ground.
Wishing of both hate and love,
knowing neither will be found.
As the sun slowly disappears,
we must once again disembark.
Time to face our deepest fears,
in the loneliness of the dark.
Who knows what tomorrow brings!
Author notes
Option #3
Elation and depression are brutal polar opposites. They irony of the disease is the one propels the othe other. A relentless perpetual motion!
In a list
A contest entry
- Mental Illness by piccola.
1000 points, ended November 13, 2007, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Am I crazy? {Options!!} by sins and sorrow.
575 points, ended August 3, 2008, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BiPolar Poetry by Dangerousparable.
300 points, ended August 3, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Mental Illness by kissing the lipless.
475 points, ended April 18, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
-
It does have elements of a carosel
(sorry, I can spell)
You have to be careful not to fall off the ride. A fine write.
-
I loved the images and the metaphors.
This was just a terrific piece!
Great Write!
-
I often hear the disorder referred to as a roller-coaster ride ... you've hit the nail on the head. Sometimes I feel that my roller coaster is always on a downward trend and pray to hit bottom even if it is self-induced. thank you for the entry
-
This one was so well written and truthful about the condition/disease/life condition, whichever people view it as. For me it's reality. It's difficult to live with, but you've expressed it quite accurately. One minute, everything is under control, the next minute, I want to throw away control, literally!
-
I like your opinion
-
Well done. I can relate. The roller coaster is always ready to take off at a moments notice. Thank goodness for the meds that help keep it in check most of the time. Pen on...~Poo~
-
Damn this was scary good!
I'm not much of a fan for rhyming but your rhyme scheme gave me the chills so my congrats on that!
Love how you compared this disorder to that of a roller coaster ride!
Very interesting..
Thanks for entering and best of luck!
-
wow. i really like the poem! such imagery!
-
Wow, really good.
Love the rhyming scheme.
Awesome job!!
You really described the ups and downs of being Bi-Polar well.
Love it!
-
I know the hard troubles with bipolar disorder, iI have it and I know the polar opposites are hard to deal with, i was in the hospital a year ago for it.
-
this is so true of the disease. more than most realize. its a perfect description.. love it..
I see why it won gold. congratulations on that.
kathy
love the picture
-
Ah yes... the "Mister Magoo" roller coaster of emotions. Bi-polar or not, everyone has been there, to a lesser or greater degree. I love the imagery and I held my breath at the apex, wanting the cool invigorating rush that comes from the initial slide down the top of the first "hump" of a roller coaster.
-
I think this is one a lot of us writers can relate too! I like this part:We begin a slow steady ascent,
producing terror and elation. Screams mask cries of descent, as living hell is our vacation.
-
I loved it
I could relate to it exactly!!! I loed the title. It made me laugh. Then I read the poem and...well...wow.. it just clicked. A great write. Life is like a roller coaster.. -
very good. The roller coaster ride is a great metaphor and I often tell people that is what my own battle with emotions is like. A wild, uncontrollable ride with extreme highs and lows; twists around corners that I don't see coming. Good job and thanks for this entry.
-
brillantly done.......
and what a smart metaphor to choose too!
you wrote this tight enough, to keep us on track,
with enough imagery in it to give us understanding...
perhaps in your author notes, you should add that one
line to the end of your poem.....A relentless perpertual
motion.......impact and wisdom blended!
really enjoyed this write!!!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen : ))
good luck in the contest!
-
Comparison to the ups and downs of life as a roller coaster has been used before, but feels fresh here. bravo!
-
wow!!! I can really relate. My emotions are a rollercoaster... I hate it. it like drives me crazy... (well, actually, I"m already crazy, it don't DRIVE me at all... haha) great work, tho! I love how you wrote this! keep up your great work! good luck in the contes!!!
Crimson -
Great write and seemed very metaphorical. I liked the title of this piece. It seemed to convey a feeling of people having good and bad days. Good luck in the contest.
-
Damn
this is so true. sadly I can relate. My poem ' The mind within my mind ' is one you may relate to. Gutsy write & be well
-
wow good poem i my self has bipolar so i could feel your words. it is a shitty feeling not to know what the day might bring to our emotions and is a pretty scarry thing. so keep writing cause i think your words will help some one know that there not alone
-
I really like the idea of the poem, but I think a little more insight into the emotions would top the cake. You tell the reader about bipolar--- maybe try to show us a little more.
.:Marie:.
Adding your comment:
1 - 22 of 22
