your petty squabbles
and scolding
grab hold
of lingering grudges,
my seething veins
start to surge
while you scheme
and leave me behind
to waste away
and impair my odds
your slander
begins leaving blisters,
but you backstab
within your heart
more than you do in words,
still, i crumble
and decay from
each taunt and calloused reply
as madness turns to mania
my heightened pulse
beats in sync,
for the only comfort i can find
is smashing my possessions
to pieces
A contest entry
- A love that was never real but the pain after was by MysteriousMoonlight.
875 points, ended December 29, 2007, 58 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Whoa...how does external anger translate to hysteria heaped upon personal belongings It seems like a misplaced self-mutilation being described in this poem.
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wow...deep...
i like the words u used to describe everything...so that the reader can not only relate...but almost feel it...very nice...i like -
Well I can definitely relate to this. Especially to the 3 lines - when I angry I am very angry, and my temper is awful and I need and want to smash everything around me, just fucking break it all.
A beautiful poem about anger and pain, every word is perfect and I just love it (hmm another one!).
Makes me feel angry though...and wanting to break something...as I am reminded of all the pain that others have caused me.
Ah! Well thats the stuff of great poems - they leave you feeling all emotional.
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this was a very nice read... it has a lot of emotion to it which to me always connects more with the reader (I know that it did with me) I love your anger in this.... but I do have one suggestion.... don't smash your possessions... your gonna need them later... smash the one's that you are angry with lol...
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I like how you expressed your angry emotions so eloquently. Like everyone has been saying, the last lines really pulls everything together and bring resolution to these feelings. Good write.
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forgot to mention-last line stands out, it ends it really nicely
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this is good it hit something...and im a fussy bastard too. there are one or two places where punctuation might enhance it, like at the end of 'each taunt and calloused reply', but dont get me wrong it dont need it. nice one
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Awesome. And I totaly get it. Some times you just gotta kick and scream. It helps to get the frustration out.
Kaitlyn
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"for the only comfort i can find
is smashing my possessions
to pieces"
Still stands out to me! i love it good luck in the contest! -
Hood-Winked
Wow what a very emotional and full of amazing imagery write. I could feel your pain with each word. You drew me in from the start. Excellent write
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Removing to close this contest. please enter in other contest
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I'm sorry but could you please re enter this poem in a new contest i am holding because of some error made this contest will be shut down a new one will be started same type so don't change the poem please!
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this is sad but very nice write!it has a line that i think stands out the most
"for the only comfort i can find
is smashing my possessions
to pieces"
it has a relation to the contest!Good Luck
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I truly love this. I can relate so well, especially to the title of the contest: "A love that was never real, but a pain that was." Despite it's nature, this has lovely imagery and the last lines are excellent:
"for the only comfort i can find
is smashing my possessions
to pieces"
I remember after being hurt, the anger came and I had no where to direct it. I wanted desperately to break something, but I didn't have anything to break other than myself. I came close to self-hurt, but realized that not only would it be painful, but quite messy. I may be young and ignorant, but I understand the erosion inside and the feeling that after 8-9 months, I'm beginning to feel I can put to rest. Splendid work, Ryan, and I wish you the best in the contest.
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