The engines' whine
and the smell of jet fuel
fade into the background.
We stand outside the gate
lost in each other
and the moment,
while my arms memorize
the feel of your body
against mine--
your softness
your warmth
your smell
--until it's time.
The doors close and
the drone of motors returns.
I feel the icy trails
of tears on my cheeks.
Once more,
I return to the world
around me and you begin
to fade away...
A contest entry
- All for Love! by Auburn Sunrise.
1000 points, ended November 13, 2007, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Poems of love and heartache,
speak to many. This poem has both. A love so strong it causes heartache at the thought of parting. I like the way you told the story. I'm not sure whether your purpose was for using this format was to even out the uneveness of the lines or for some other effect. Either way it works well. I'm not a fan of startin lines with and or but unless necessary to connect them to the previous line or add a needed beat. I think that line fifteen could stand alone without the and. Line two possibly could as well. Nice write.
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Wow, I can sure relate to this.
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love the way this is described, the feelings and emotions surrounding an entire relationship, all of the involvement regardless of circumstances or conditions or specific details wound down and reduced to the clarity and intensity of just a moment or few...
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Phenomenal
Personally, I like the sensual aspect of arms trying to memorize how everything about the body and, by extension, how the moment feels before it slips away. I forget so many things that this makes me feel the poem applies to me, at least in part. And isn't the purpose of true poetry expression by the writer and interpretation by the reader? So, I dub thee Phenomenal.
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this was so beautiful and sad. such a strong vivid love and the parting which is so painful. beautifully written
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Wow.
This poem literally took my breath away.
The style helped me read it in an almost free-fall way that built up the anticipation, making me hold my breath until I got to the end, waiting to exhale with relief. But no relief came. Instead, I was left breathless, cold, utterly sad.
I know this feeling all too well.
Such a poignant and beautiful write. I am very impressed.
This style does seem new to you, and I have to give you credit for kicking ass at it!
Wonderful!!!!!
Thanks so much for entering, Jim.
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She: And if I were to go?
He: All I know is, on the day your plane was to leave, if I had the power,I would turn the winds around, I would roll in the fog, I would bring in storms,
I would change the polarity of the earth so compasses couldn't work,
so your plane couldn't take off...
Simply and stunningly lovely.
~ crisstiena
Good luck!
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