Nefas cinxit illos
tamen aliqui timidus
petaverunt redemptionem
in fide.
Promissum revertere sanitatem
vocatus esse
honestoque vero ore,
sed senex monachus etiamdum
lacrimat suis vota:
'Hic est immortalis!
Oro ut veritas
vivaret.'
At nulli erat innui esse.
Iam obscura mendacia fluent
ab paginis rumptis
ex sanctis libellis;
falsum tinnit iustum,
ut companae
ad ecclesiam altam
(vocans omnes ad missam)-
Una ratio est iam excusatus.
Author notes
Translation from Latin:
Sin surrounded them,
however some, fearful,
sought redemption
in faith.
a promise to return sanity
was spoken by
honest and true lips,
but the old monk
still cries his prayers:
'This is immortal!
I pray that the truth
might live.'
But it was never meant to be.
Now black lies stream from
pages torn out of
sacred texts;
a falsity rings true,
just as the bells
at steeple high
(calling all to mass)-
A reason is now an excuse.
I had to compromise in both languages to what I could manage. It may not be perfect, but it's close.
Title: Destroy Sanctity (Which I meant as in destroying the Bible).
Iconoclasm
A contest entry
- I C O N O C L A S M by ellipsist.
300 points, ended November 9, 2007, 3 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Thanks for commenting!
Comments
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First of all, I applaud you for writing an entire poem in Latin, which I know from experience is really difficult...
I hope you don't mind me pointing out the following things... (Hopefully I'm not telling you anything wrong now)
I think "timidus" should be "timidi" (plural) because "aliqui" (in this context) and the verb are also plural and those have to be congruent(?)...
And "petaverunt" I think should be petiverunt (3rd person plural, present perfect of "petere")
But enough of that, I'm too tired to think about grammar any longer.
This was a really great poem, I enjoyed reading it very much... It's is truly deserving of the gold trophy.
Thanks for sharing this!
Keep on writing!
Annie
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very clear and complete thoughts throughout - very carefully composed eloquent and thoughtful - however, the fact that both translations, formatted the way that they are currently, are included in the body of the poem puts it over the line limit... perhaps one translation should appear in the author's notes?
love the Latin, by the way...
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I transfered it down. Is that okay? Otherwise I can combine a few lines so its 30 altogether.
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iconoclasm
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