Streamers flame for a false crusade.
Where Gargoyles hang, fear is laid.
Sooty smoke fills the pier by night,
over ivory bridges, shadows fight.
Below the Gantry, a twisted trail,
when erring rider's skin turns pale,
they'll tell of kinsmen lost in the mire,
mislead at the Fork, by a saint and a liar.
Passengers believing those lyrical signs,
never drawn to read through the lines,
seldom dare to fire up their torch,
in case they burn the ties they scorch.
Crusted gems for a bale of brass.
Deep in the dale beyond the pass,
in a hidden cavern in a sunken keep,
under crystal gaze, fireflies leap.
Here rests the oracle, forever still,
bound by a mirror against his will,
rasping in rhyme, assulting their plight,
rewarding the just with all of his might.
Author notes
Picture - "Left Behind 3" by Lisa Brewer http://www.artwanted.com/imageview.cfm?ID=281839&SubGal=WAITING%20FOR%20ADDITIONS
A contest entry
- Picture Inspired Contest -- Number 3 by Ethereal One.
1200 points, ended November 22, 2007, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
-
Great work here David! Nice imagery. I liked the way you composed this poem. Congratulations!
-
The imagery is amazing! Great job! I can see why it won a trophy. You have a great way of letting us visualize what's going on.
-
Wow. This was really good, DJ. I like the here lies the oracle line. Awesome job again! You are really talented! Keep up the great work!
-
the rhyme in this is pretty good. thank you for sharing this with me today. congratulations on the honorable mention you have earned and i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie
-
I love the word useage in this, it highlights such imaginary its beautiful.
A wonderful poem and I wish you all the best ideas for the future.
Rose -
i have no comment as to the subject, but the form and style of the poem itself are nicely executed. you have good diction and nice control of rhyme and meter. nice work. peace :0
-
Marvelous piece of writing!!! I have enjoyed reading this one much!!!! When read out loud there is an even great dismal feel to the words!!!!! My favorite part is:
"Crusted gems for a bale of brass.
Deep in the dale beyond the pass,
in a hidden cavern in a sunken keep,
under crystal gaze, fireflies leap."There is so much imagination shown in this piece!!!! It is a prize winner!!!!!
-
This is great! Another understatement... I should really find a better word to use with your poems...
"Here rests the oracle, forever still,
bound by a mirror against his will,
rasping in rhyme, assulting their plight,
rewarding the just with all of his might."
That is brilliant... bloody brilliant!
I am really liking the pieces I have read that you have done...
Kudos!
-
An amazing write! I enjoyed reading it!!! Well done on your award! You have a lot of talent
Miley -
Bravo bravo.. well done.. This was a great piece.. The way your ryhme was so well done just brought a great image to the mind.. I love the ending.. Beautifully done..
Peace to you,
Jetleena
-
again i think this is a good piece, but it lacks consistancy in the meter. the syllabols tend to clash a bit here and there, which makes it quite hard for the reader to feel the poems rhythm.
-
awesome
A most excellent piece! Again the rhyming is subtle, but mature, it doesn't sound like a nursery rhyme, and it all flows like a river or something. and the imagery is great, i think of those fantasy writers that have series' with bajillions' of books in them.
-
i loved the use of words and you have gr8 imagination well done from erica x.x.x.x
-
Another awesome write!
Great use of words! You really know how to rhyme don't maybe you could give me a few pointers. Very well done! -
This was just beautiful. I loved your rhyme and the flow of it was right on. Thank you for entering my contest!
-
Great write! I enjoyed it very much.My only suggestion would be to change the font color as it was hard to see.
-
Loved the imagery.
-
i really like it
-
An incredibly moving poem with a lot of fantastic images. A visual poem. This was marvelous.
-
Wonderful!!
Love this tale You have told and the rhyme which flowed and draws the reader closer
Congratulations on Your HM~
-throws confetti-
Powerful images to stain the Mind!!
Magnificent!!
Appreciate Your visit to my piece
Best wishes to You in all You do
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
-
Fantastic
I thought this was so close to professional it just needed a push, it was wonderful, the images and the rhyming. If you do a lot of this you could do a book and have an illustrator do the pictures, magic and fantasy are big sellers. I think that in just a little time and practice you can probably make a living at poetry. Have you ever thought of writing a fantasy novel? -
A great work of the imagination. Like a movie. It made me feel a little dark but sometimes thats a nice place to go.
-
Oh. My. God. This was amazing! I love the images you gave me, which were so crystal clear that I felt as if I were there, and the rhyme scheme was fantastic. The story was just... wow. At times, I wondered if I were reading a short story or something. Great job. I wish you all the best in the contest.
Adding your comment:
1 - 23 of 23
