Our
world :
whirled
bower.
Flower
hurled,
twirled
hour,
sends
men
strife,
ends
then
life.
.
.
.
.
Author notes
robi3_0487_robi3_0000 SXX_DZX
Background : NASA Aurora Borealis
see below
Sur la Mort d’une Jeune Fille
Fort
Belle,
Elle
Dort.
Sort
Frêle !
Quelle
Mort !
Rose
Close
La
Brise
L’a
Prise.
Jules de RESSEGUIER 1789_1862
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Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Amazing!
This was an awesome poem! I really loved the way you used your words and I loved how you rhymed them. This is a great write, keep up the good work. I can't wait to read more
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Amazing. A simple, yet complex write here.
Great job =) -
strikes at the heart like a sonnet should, an interesting variation indeed. Excellent penning.
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I love the presentation! I like this, in my opinion I don' see why it can't be a sonnet. When I get around to discussing Emily Dickinson you will see what I mean! I love the sheer evanescent brevity of your poem.
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Thank you for your entry
What can I say about this entry. I have difficulty in finding the interpretaion of the prompt as as I do not really see this as a sonnet, just single word stanzas I am wondering was this more a joke than an actual entry. I mean if you were going for brevity you certianly have it, and I would even go as far as to say that it does appear to have the rhyme scheme with but no syllable count I am left without something to measure against other entries.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God bless
Tammy -
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Sonnets and Evanescence
Dear Tammy & FOR THE RECORD
A sonnet is a verse with fourteen lines ... of course there are variations on a theme with "English Sonnets" often rhyming abab cdcd efef gg as in most Shakespearean sonnets or abab abab abab cc or abba abba abba cc where rhyming couplets are preferred.
In the Evanescent Sonnet, originally written on 21 November 1991; the rhyme scheme is abba abba ccd ccd but it should also be borne in mind that the 14 word sonnet dates back to the 17th century in France - see below : abba abba ccd ede
Sur la Mort d’une Jeune Fille
Fort
Belle,
Elle
Dort.
Sort
Frêle !
Quelle
Mort !
Rose
Close
La
Brise
L’a
Prise.
Jules de RESSEGUIER 1789_1862
If you read French the comment on Rességuier's one word per line sonnet and variations on the theme are interesting here http://humanidades.uprrp.edu/romanitas/espanol/volumen2/robert.html
There is much ignorance concerning word sonnets as can be seen comparing the early 19th century example above and the following link to the University of Ottawa
http://www.fridaycircle.uottawa.ca/foreplay/foreplay-preface.html
Some North American contemporary writers go even further
http://www.danforthreview.com/reviews/poetry/mayne3.htm
However definitions vary but rejoin my initial comments
http://edisonapenglish.freeservers.com/custom3.html
3. Sonnet(lyric): a rigid 14 line verse form, with variable structure and scheme according to type:A. Shakespearean(English): 3 quatrains and concluding couplet in iambic pentameter, rhymin abab cdcd efef gg or abba cddc effe gg.
B. Italian(Petrarchan): an octave and sestet, between which a break thought occurs. The traditional rhyme scheme is abbe abbe cafe cafe the sestet, any variation of c,d,e.
furthermore see
http://www.yourdictionary.com/sonnet
word: Poets for about the last 20-30 years in the UK have produced word sonnets and it has proved to be a very restricting form.
___________
Thus, with respect, my Evanescent Sonnet, though submitted with a sense of humour, follows a tradition dating back over three hundred years.
Best regards Jonathan
PS
Find
terse
verse
lined
mind
worse
purse
signed
heed
screed
writ
we'd
read
fit
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I do not believe this has the rhyme scheme of an English sonnet, which is what the contest calls for. This seems to have the rhyme scheme of an Italian sonnet.
It is interesting, though. -
very interesting
This is the kind of poem that you like to read twice, because the last stanza is so catching. You want to reread it to see if you can gain any new impressions - this is probably because of the one word lines; however, the format does succeed in drawing each reader into her own deeper interpretation. Nicely done. -
Where's the Dog?
You know I have some slight blemishes to the receptor pixels on my screen because of the amount of times you've run that dog thing!LOL Good thing the monitors are cheaper these days!
Great piece Jonathan! Sort of a noveaux treatment of an older form. But the message is out of this world. Maybe it is; maybe it is!
"Terra firma, this is Jonathan Robin. We've got a problem!"
"Do you read me terra firma?"
Love this one, Jon
John-Las Vegas, Nevada
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I noticed that you marked this under "philosophy of life" as well as some others. If I read it strictly on philosophy the outlook strikes me as rather grim and depressing [not that this takes away from the write-it is merely my interpretation, as well as unfortunately probably the truth]. Now just wondering if that is what life really is supposed to be [whirled, hurled, strife, ends] <-----all of those words have a certain negativity to this reader.....or is it merely what we choose to do with our lives [sabotaging it ourselves]???. Yes, it definitely is a philosophical write in very few words that prove quite thought provoking. Loved the presentation as well, i.e the picture [so befitting the words]
a prochainement,
reenie
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I'm sure the form is probably perfect, but it didn't do it for me this time as poetry
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Very unusual sonnet - the one with the least words I have ever seen. Words are great, just there are so few of them. Great presentation on this page though, very lovely background used for this write.
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Deeeep
Sometimes things can blow your mind. I just got mind-f*ed (excuse the French). Wow, I think the background youve chosen is very fitting for this masterpiece. Worth every point. Will check out more of your work!
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I think this is the smallest and most unusual sonnet I have ever read but it is still perfectly rhymed and every bit as beautiful and inspiring as any other I've read. In fact I find it very thought provoking as it leaves so much to the imagination.
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Bravo!
I am flying!
Fly or dying?
Is this heaven?
Jane
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Powerful drops of precipitating words fill the visula hanting of where is love...thanks so much
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Sighhh...Beautifully done in content, form & presentation. Good luck in Rich's contest, Scribe.
Wanda
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