The warm wet blood
slowly runs down my face,
the dark red color
stains my clothes and floor
pain comes from the wounds
where the red liquid poors out
my heart pumps faster
my breathing speeds up
covered in the warm wet liquid
I craw to the place you lay
while my blood makes a trail
with every move I make
a pool of blood surrounds you
the red covered knife is in your chest
I lay down next to your lifeless body
I touch your cold pale face
a tear runs down my face
into the gash on my cheek
it stings as the blood still gushes
I lay my head mext to yours
you were right when you said
"We will die together"
I hold your hand tight
as I slowly fade away
Author notes
crazy monkey
A contest entry
- Demons by Shikamaru-Nara.
430 points, ended November 15, 2007, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Grieving (Round 2 – Invite Only) by Beating.
450 points, ended December 14, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bleeding Hope by sins and sorrow.
475 points, ended July 13, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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This is great! Love and death. I really liked it.
Please reread the rules and add something to your authors notes.
Thanks for entering and good luck. -
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Thanx glad you like it Sorry i added it.
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Wow...
That's the sort of thing that would happen if I lost someone important to me. I really like this writing, good work.
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Please remember AP screen name in your author notes!
Oh! A romeo and juliet ending. This piece is really dark and bloody! You did a good job with your descriptive words. I really like it! -
this is a wonderful poem dark and bloody, love and hate, what more can i say?you are a great poet. thanks for the comment on "feel the blade agianst the skin"
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decent
awww nothing my satisfying than laying next to dead bodies lol.....
interesting twist to a love concept... very Shakespearean
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very dark
Ace writing
this is such a good use of imagery.
**thanks for your comment. i saw a sense of desperate hope yet ultimately i guess it is depressing. my poetry is waht you make of it (cos i sure dont know, lol)**
this is like the modern day Porphyrias lover in a disjointed and more violent way. a twisted sick love spelled out in blood
keep it up i see great potential in your writing
love from me
xx
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Wow,this is very good.Very dark and lovely^_^
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Very deep
This was great. However, it would have been nice to see what killed the other person and have a story behind it...
DarkOne -
Wow. You should put this into my contest. It'd make finalist instantly.
I love every part of it.
-Darkwave
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good
wow this is sad and great at the same time. i like it i need to write more like this. but everytime i do they sound dumb. well any way it is really good. but no one should take some one with them when they die.
(that may sound stupid but i know wat i mean.
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