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She Won't

I could almost be the center of your affection
Had she not been in my way
I could almost be the main attraction
But she’s still the one that you’ve gotta say,

“Hey there baby.
Looking good sweet thing.
You don’t know this, but maybe
I’ll get you a pretty little ring.”

To her pretty little collection
She tosses that ring
And your affection
But baby, sweet thing

She isn’t gonna love you
She isn’t gonna care
She isn’t gonna miss you too
Or cuddle when you’re there
She isn’t gonna kiss your lips
She isn’t gonna cry
She isn’t gonna give you tips
Or giggle when you sigh
She won’t ever be like me
She won’t ever care like I do
She won’t ever help you see
That there’s so much more to you

Author notes

Not complete and I'm not sure where I'm going with it...

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Comments

  • the tempest
    November 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    WONDERFUL!!! i love the style of this poem....great job as always dear


  • Mirthryl
    November 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice abab rhyme scheme (I still can't do those!). You have got a phenomenal meter going in the first eight lines of stanza 4! If there were some way you could pull the whole piece into this catchy meter, I think it would really be sweet!

    I realize you are not yet done with this piece, but the last two lines don't make as much sense for me...lies are usually dodges or flaunts or carrots (for which your 'dark sunglasses' make sense). I'll bet you can tell the difference between being lied to and being harassed! Let me know when you are done with this, and I'll revisit it and leave clappies then (since it won't let me add clappies once I've entered any!)