From a hill to a mountain
our life came to us
to climb not to fall
is a purpose too high
spending our life time
in the mountain road
our everest is not there
is not there at all
how can we not see
how can we be blind
what so called everest
is to far behind
Author notes
we must be happy with the life we have build so far
A contest entry
- Twelve lines on or from this Mountain, by Lyndon.
1000 points, ended November 26, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
be true
Comments
-
You have written 12 lines ~ good.
Hello, poet. Thank you for entering.
"to high" => "too high".
From a hill to a mountain,
our life came to us;
to climb not to fall.
Is a purpose too high,
spending our life-time
in the mountain road?
Our Everest is not there -
is not there at all!
How can we not see?
How can we be blind?
What so-called Everest
is too far behind? "
I shall leave it to you and others to tell me if punctuation detracts or promotes poetic communication to the reader.
I did enjoy the lines that you presented here.
Lyndon of the Winklings.
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