the cobweb braincase was evolutionary
thoughts were biting my head without comfort
cold pain hobbled the dreams I sort
love and torture gnaw within
A contest entry
- Whatever by vertigo beat.
3500 points, ended November 13, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Wonderful
Very well done. A great creation. Best of luck in the contest.
-
-thoughts were biting my head without comfort
get rid of without comfort?
-don't really like the last line.
Otherwise, well done. I liked your first and third lines a lot.
-
-
thanks
in other words, without end . . upsetting to go through . . some comfort might ease the pain . . same thing with the last line . . an upset person who has things bothering him . . -
-
I think your title is sufficient enough for the explanation. But in the end, it's your write and it's a part of you; I can't and neither do I want you to fit my mold. I only give suggestions.
-
-
Adding your comment:
