[so.hold.on] such a fall never came so quick
did you see it coming? nobody else did either..
so fast. well you see it now [i'll only bring you down]
[so.hold.on] a faint glimmer of hope
some semblance of life perhaps
only to be overtaken by my icy cold
so fast. everyone sees it now [i'll only bring you down]
[so.hold.on] this is wrong.. not what you wanted
can you feel it now? nothing but numb..
my icy cold envelops you.. too late to turn back
i'm sorry.. it was your choice to take the first step
not my choice in the end but now you know [i'll only bring you down]
[so.hold.on] is this something to be fixed?
this method, this something..
designed to take you closer to where you needed to be
only to find yourself in the end
further away, further down than when you first started
it's not my fault. it's so my fault [i'll only bring you down]
[so.hold.on] this is pain
this isn't yours to bear.. but then whose is it?
in the end the blame lies in only one place
the same place your broken remains lie
someday, they say, this can be rebuilt
but can it.. i want it.. i need it..
this is something we can handle [i'll only bring you down]
[so.hold.on... i'll only bring you down]
Author notes
really sloppy with no real form.. just one recurring thought.. its on my mind that's all..
Comments
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Hmm.. You say "[i'll only bring you down]" And she says that you'll never let her fall... that works. I think.. But a really good poem and you've brought the main themes of it from start to finsish and was a great piece of poetry...
Keep it up...
Claire-Anne -
WELCOME TO ALLPOETRY!
I actually thought the form really suited the recurring thought you have in this piece. It helped to break it up and really made the piece just perfect. Great job.
I am quite impressed. Welcome to the site and feel free to ask me any questions.
Despair
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Amazing.
I love it, baby. "but then whose is it?" should read "but then who's is it" i believe?
You'll never bring me down.
I'll always hold on.
I love you Lee.
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