see what you have done to me
only made my life worse
by letting me get addicted
to the one thing that i hated
but now i love the pain it causes me
every deep cut
that goes into my vein
feels like heaven to me
because its the only thing i feel
the pain,the blood
dripping from my wrist
cleaning it off just to see more
to watch the scars heal
to see my life that i hate go by faster
as i feel every cut in my skin
i feel my life slip away even faster
but i smile and think
thats what i want but its taking forever
but that one day when i cut
will be the day that i die
finally i'll be happy once and forever
Author notes
sorri i have many miss spelled words in there
and my grammer is bad
im never good at that sorri
hope you like
A contest entry
- suicide poems that don't suck by aeolia.
380 points, ended January 1, 2008, 104 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Nah, I understand about the grammar and such, or at least I'm beginning to, lol. Not everyone is as grammatically talented as I am, and I need to learn to respect that. I'll give some corrections nevertheless:
"see what you have done to me" -- when you ask a question, 'tis helpful to have a question mark.
"but now i love the pain it causes me" -- interesting line.
"that goes into my vain" -- vein. "Vain" means a variety of things, namely "egotistical," "trivial," "fruitless."
"because its the only thing i feel" -- it's. It's is "it is." "Its" is a possessive.
"to whatch the scars heel" -- watch; heal.
"thats what i want but its taking forever" -- that's; comma after "want"; it's.
"finally ill be happy once and forever" -- I'll. "Ill" means "sick," and that's not what you intend, so do try to remember apostrophes & such.
There you go!
Thanks for entering my contest, & good luck!
--Cristina -
i like it
it is beautifully and truthfully dark
not many people know about that addiction
except those who have experienced it...
PEACE&WAR
The -poodle boy-
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wow
great poem i like it was terrific i am the same way as your poem if you need to talk i am here to chat keep your head up kid!!!!!
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lol thanks alot maybe some one will finally understand me!! lol
--Johnnia
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