Im sorry I never got a chance to like you
Or even know how to feel
Becuase ever since day one
Blocking was the way I seemed to deal
Nothing really worked
Felt as if all alone
A mother who didn't understand me
And a dad-daughter realationship disowned
Mom never cared
For many of my friends
I fought and rebelled
Never made a mend
The pain of losing one after another, the pian you can't comprehend
My best chica
She hated my mom...after the 8th grade, we really never spoke after then
Yeah we have Myspace and all
She left me, for all of the poser, old friends
After that, I kept to myself
Hoping to find closure
Obession, anything, something else
....
High school came along
And so came this guy
It's funny how hormones fly into the sky
Not that I think about it, all I can think of is why
I knew never that an idiot I was
Writing poetry
Thinking I was good
Of course, becuase I was.....lol
My freshman year;heart broken and hurt
Then there was Josh, Jeremy, and Kurt
I thought the love of others
Could help me fill in the pain
Only realizing, not knowing what I wanted, driven me insane
I guess I never knew what I wanted
I think I only did what felt right
But now I'm in bed,
Haven't been able to sleep the last nights
If anyone could look into my portal
With each and every memory,secret,fear I have inside
...There was no problem with hiding what you felt...
But if I knew better, I think I could have liked you too
Can't you see...
I'm fucked up as could be
Fuck the personality
No money, no job
My heart was once all for Jeremy
But somehow the fire died
As for all my other feelings
All of them seemed to subside
I don't know where I went wrong
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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well, you're clearly angry and clearly a goth.
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awww. that was so sad...it reminds me a lot of my life. beautiful job on the subtle rhyming. wonderful job : ]
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hmmmmm...except few spelling mistakes,this piece is pretty intriguing! I like the attitude and all so do please review the poem and correct what's to correct because this poem has a looooot of potential!
well done indeed!
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This is great write! I love how you put yourself on paper with this. You did a great a great job! Thank you for linking this to me!
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Very well written. The scrutinizing experience you have been through is something we all wish could be something that is obsolete in our everyday, materialistic, un-orthodox, and low standard society. Of course, dreams are meant to be kept only as that...just dreams. But even so it is nice to hold on to a thought that perhaps one day, things will go right for us.
Maybe it is just the way I think, or the way I believe in things, but I always feel that somepoint in life we will find that pentacle of life that will allow us to smile inside ourselves, and repeat in our minds, everything will be ok.
This was an excellent poem, and I wish only the best and greatest things to come in your life, whether they come tomorrow or in a few years, they will come.
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You didn't go wrong...life takes twists and turns, and sometimes shit happens, but it's all a learning lesson, part of what makes us stronger. I was so in love with a guy named Doug, who I thought I'd be w/forever, and when I was 17yrs old, and he was 16yrs old, I got pregnant. He left the 1st time when I was 5mo pregnant. I was dumb and took him back. I called him and told him I was in labor the night of December 11th, and he broke up with me. That's right, he broke up with me when I was in labor.
And yet, I was dumb again, and took him back when our daughter, Alexandria(Alex) was a month old. He left AGAIN when Alex was 7mo old.
Damnit, I was dumb again and took him back, when Alex was 1yr 5mo old. Then, I left HIM when Alex was 1yr 10mo old.
I'd had enough of his bullshit. Cheating on me, the drinking, drug use.
I thought we'd be off & on forever, but when I left him, it was the last time. I moved on, married someone else. Had a son. Learned that life goes on. I ended up divorcing the jerk I had my son with, though. LOL, thought HE was my night in shining armor, turned out he was my night in rusty aluminum.
Now, I'm remarried, for 6yrs this past September 21st, to a wonderful man, who doesn't cheat on me, drink, use drugs, or beat me.
What I learned was, the guy I thought I'd be w/forever, was not "the one". He told me that if I wanted to get married, to go find someone else, bcuz he'd never marry me. He felt that marraige is just a piece of paper that ruins good relationships. I gave him way too many chances. And ended up w/a broked heart.
With my sons' father, I ended up with more than a broken heart, I ended up with broken bones, bruises, and much worse. We found out 2yrs after I divorced him that he'd molested my daughter for pretty much the whole 4yr marraige. Twice he was indicted for 1st degree rape, and twice it was dismissed. That's SD justice I guess.
Well, I've really gone off rambling...
I just want you to know that there's life after pain, I'm 31yrs old, and have endured alot of pain in my life. And still I stand. Every other weekend, I have to see my exhusband, who we all know molested my daughter. If his scumbag lawyers hadn't drug the litigation out for so long, almost 3yrs, Alex wouldn't have began to forget, or rather, repress, and his ass would be in prison. Drives me crazy to know what he did, and see him a free man. And, he has unsupervised visitation w/our son. But, that's something I have no control over. All I can do, is make sure my kids' get the therapy they need, and keep my eyes and ears opened, in case he(my ex) ever does anything to my son.
Best of luck to you in your future, and know that you are not alone in this sorted world.
Take care and be safe.
~Monica
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Good Job!
It takes alot of courage to do what you did here....
Basically just going out and finding yourself and trying to be the best person you can be is hard...growing up in this generation...
I was dealing with the same type of issue...still am
But what makes people stronger is their ablilty to open up about their life and thw willingness to get help...
so I believe you are strong person and will do fine in life...just don't let "the haters get you down"[thats my ghetto side coming out]
Lol
Bloved
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I can see myself in there. honestly I can. I rebeled and still am against my mom. My mom never understands me or who I really am. My dad-daughter relationship is down the toliet (no help to my mom)...
I like this very much.
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Sad story
Also one that many can relate too. Jeremy was someone that took you into a different life. You learned what love felt like and how the hurt of loss feels. Learn from it and grow. You got a lot of living left. The times you have had will help you to live the times ahead, besides...I love you! Dad
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Wow.....
So intense..
An entire life story in such a small amount of words..
this is extremely emotional and really opens up a window into your life, soul, and heart.
Great write my friend!
L-R-P
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