i see specs of stardust in your eyes
sparkling throughout the starry night skies
shimmering and twirling for all to see
a dance of the heavens, meant for only me
i feel your touch upon my skin
explosions arise from deep within
love and lust encased as one
may all my pain become undone
i feel your lips pressed to mine
all planetary bodies in my heart align
little drops of heaven fall from your eyes
i knew that you loved me, that day that you cried
i see you heart entwined mine
all that was dark now shines
with every beat my dying heart makes
is purely and only, just for your sake
i see the love, the care you feel
and i know that finally this is real
a touch, a love, a world unknown
and all the happiness of life is shown
you gave me back all i lost
blessed me with your love
and now i have you in my arms
we shall never be apart
you saved me
*whispers*ILoveYou
A contest entry
- Spontaneous vs. Contrived Combust by ErrantHeart.
600 points, ended February 13, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I don't see your revision.
I can't properly judge this entry without the revision so, alas, must remove this from consideration. You have procrastinated yourself out of the running. 
but I do thank you for your initial submission.
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Contest ends January 31, please submit your edited version by then or I shall, unfortunately, have to remove your entry from the final judging due to incompletion.
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Hi, a gentle reminder to be thinking about plunking your finished piece on here sometime sooner than later. No rush, just don't want you to forget.
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Love the ryhming scheme but at the end it seemed to slow down when you went away from it. Love the sensual feel.
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could be shorter
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Here's the thing, I really wanted the spontaneous piece plugged onto the page as it came to you, and that would mean without being put, initially, into stanzas or centered. I want the raw form. I also would ask that you save your center aligning for the edited and finished piece, if you don't mind.
Thanks so much for entering.
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