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when is daddy . . . .

"mommy when is daddy coming home"
asks a two year old little boy
as he is looking at his baby brother in his crib
the mother thinks to herself how to be frank but be coy
two girls come running in, five and seven, screaming from school
"momma tell us what we saw isnt true" as they shed tears
"daddy is not coming home is he mommy?" asks the son
"come here kids, let mommy hold you" as she lets into her fears
" i dont know what is going to happen to our family,
i dont know whether your father will come home or not
but know this you always have me, I am not going anywhere,
we always have one another to see each other through or have you forgot?
how about you all help me make supper?" as she wipes away her tears
men and women are dying with painful suffering and some without pain,
as the family huddles around one another for love and support
hard to believe the country doesnt think just goes insane
the country is on edge as they watch unbelieveing what they see and hear
the firefighters and the twin towers fall one by one
as one family doesnt want to watch with heartache and pain
for some familys the heartache has only just begun
as the family sat down to say their prayer for their supper
they heard a knock on their front door
before their mother could say a word, the little boy was running "daddy!"
the mother passed out to land hard on the floor
at the thought of what she was going to be told
where her husband and the father of her children lay
the man at the door carried her to the hospital
she woke up to hear her husband's voice to her dismay
for she thought they were both in heaven left their family all alone
until her heard her son's response to his father's story
finaly she realized she was one of the lucky ones,
her husband had survived the colapse in all its glory
for that she would always be thankful
for she still had her heart and soul
for her husband's hand she held as her children all chitted and chattered
without her children around her fears would of caused her to lose her self-control

A contest entry

please let me know what you think for i have put my heart on my sleeve in this one

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Symphony
    February 18
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    I found that much of this was far too forced in the rhyming scheme, however with that said,

    the story told behind it, was absolutely heart wrenching, and the story of so many around the world now -

    my heart just went out to those kids!

    Thank you for entering, and for sharing this with us


  • Avatar of Innocence
    September 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you very much for being patient with me, and entering my contest.

    How heart-wrenching. It is very difficult to balance truth and tact when answering even a child's question.


  • Angelflower
    June 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was a beautiful abd heart felt poem..
    You really pulled the reader in and let them
    feel everything here in this wonderfully emotional piece.. This brought a tear to my eye..
    Thank you very much for sharing..
    Best of luck.

    Angel


  • Silent Cougar Moderators member
    December 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    regardless of poetic restraints and punctuation. this kicks the ass out of true stories, why? becuase it is clear to see the author had a tear in her eye writing it. brilliant follow through, and well worth the effort.
    great job Laura.


  • redmarkonthewall
    November 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Not bad.. good content but it didn't seem to flow very well for me when I read it. Good job thought thatnks for entering and good luck.

1 - 5 of 5