Hands strike
a ten o’clock
good night
ding... dong...
she turns
the other cheek
bright purple
to emphasise
contrast.
Author notes
She swirls
down...
among insults
and uncertainties,
her numb face
in tones of grey
confused with
rainy skies.
Swiftly she turns
the other cheek
bright purple
to emphasise
contrast.
A contest entry
- speaks in purple by Cat.
700 points, ended November 14, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Hands strike
a ten o’clock
good night
(love that)
she slumps,
her face
confused with
rainy skies.
(i see this as not being pertinent and a bit overwrought- i think the piece could use one more good solid image here- i'm not sure this is it-
also- it may be just unecessary-
Hands strike
a ten o’clock
good night
she turns
the other cheek
bright purple
to emphasise
contrast.
that may be your poem right there..
anyhow- i definitely would love to read more of you in the future
m -
-
Thank you this was a quick response
May be you are right I tend to give too many details it is something I try to work on I am going to edit accordingly.Thanks 
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Swiftly she turns
the other cheek
bright purple
to emphasise
contrast.
sometimes when reading a poet i am unfamiliar with i am so awestruck by a thought or a line that i have to go look that poet up- the above captured stanza did that to me
now- if i am being 100% honest- the rest of the poem doesn't carry quite the same strength.. - but that said.. i think you, with your ability to turn a phrase so perfectly- could sharpen the open to equal the close-
because the close is brilliant
m -
-
Thank you for the honnest comment and i understand (and already knew what you mean) I have reworded it and like to know what you think of the new version... I will leave the old one in the author box for you to compare. Thank you so much.
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this is very nice, i really like the close...
thanks for entering it here
al -
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Thank you so much
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i want to lift her up into bright sun of realization that neither cheek need ever be bruised. insults need never be accepted, and all women must find a certainty and conviction above the grey...i want to lift her, this woman of your write...as i once lifted myself.
you stirred deep purple emotion in me, any poem that can do that is a very well written poem, great write.
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Thank you so much for your kind comment red and blue equal purple so many of us have been there until able to understand the complete implications... the turning point is this, then to gather the strength and set free... wounds do heal but some scars remain so the emotions. Take care and be strong you are wonderful (never forget this)...
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This is a very deep and thought provoking poem, much like turmning the other cheek no matter how much we have been wronged.
All the best with this
Gaylene
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