Dear Father, I would really like to thank you for my life;
it's been a good one, mostly, thanks to you (and to my wife,
and it's because of you I made it through to reach her side,
so thank you, too, that I'll go home to such a lovely bride.)
I can't complain; it's been worthwhile, the good times and the bad...
(What? Oh! Not you, Lord! I'm sorry; I was talkin' to my Dad!
But he's done nodded off, and since it seems I have your ear
I oughta say, I know I haven't called in quite some years...
but if you have a minute for an old man's quiet prayer,
I'll say this one for Daddy...could you meet him in the air?
I know you're mostly waitin' at the gates, but this is why;
before us kids come 'long, my Daddy used to love to fly!
It may seem like the least of what he gave up, havin' kids
but to me it's always seemed to be the coolest thing he did,
so maybe, if you wouldn't mind, be wingman for a flight
and see he holds a course that's straight and steady to'ard the Light?
But come to think...you know, I'd really rather that he stayed,
so next y'all talk...maybe tell him, "Son, your flight has been delayed"?
I see he's wakin' up, now, but I'm glad we had this chat.
I can't say we'll have more. I'm stubborn...but then, you knew that.
Let's keep it 'tween us two, for now? I never was no good
at sayin' my goodbyes. I know Dad's always understood,
so we'll take this time, here, to talk of more important things.
I gotta run. Bye, now.) Good mornin', Dad. 'D'ja have good dreams?
Author notes
Well, here I am in a hospital in Texas, watching my father breathe...and cherishing those rare moments when he wakes up for a little while.
Meanwhile...I wrote this.
"It is what it is"
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Wow!
I laughed. I teared up. I have been reading your comments in the forum and thought you to be so interesting that I wanted to check out your profile. I'm not sure why I chose this poem to read, of the many that you posted. But, here I am. You seem like the type of fella that doesn't need to hear how wonderful this poem was. However, I must say I loved it. I can't wait to have time, to read more of your work. -
I think everyone commenting below have said it better than I can, but I loved reading this, it was so heartfelt and honest.
I also found out this is "Cowboy Poetry." I like it, it's comfortable to read and it rhymes.
Thank you for sharing this special time.
Lis
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I think this is exellent! Touching. Very easy to read...nice flow...good rhyme (I like rhyme) I felt like I was eaves dropping on a personal heartfelt chat as I read this poem. Well written! ***Pam***
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moments like these my friend are cherished!
I'm not what I will do when my father.leaves this world of ours .
there times I know that he loves me... even though sometimes I don't show it.
but life should be where one honors those who are our parents>
something I should take in consideration in this life of mine.
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill
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Hi! thought I'd come by and comment on some of your work, since I havn't yet.
I like this, it is very beautiful, a good look into the human expierience, and the relationships we have here, as well as the often neglected relationship with god. Nicly pened.
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Eric, that was beautiful. Death is a hard thing to accept, and nobody is born to say goodbye. I loved the ending, it's to say "Hey, that trip wasn't so bad, was it?"
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Heartfelt and touching. "If you have a minute for an old man's quiet prayer" was particularly poignant.
I thought you could have written "before us kids came along, my Daddy loved to fly" - the shorter words you used broke up the line where there was a wonderful cohesion prior to it. It also sounded a little forced, with the clearly structured rhymes.
really, though, it was lovely. I don't normally like colloquial speech in writing like this, but here it fitted wonderfully. The broken lines with elipses conveyed well the thoughts and awkward moments, silences and pauses.
I was sorry to hear of your loss.
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That little chat of yours sounds like it was hard to have. I really hope it ends up being worth it.
I can't say I've ever been in the situation so I won't pretend to sympathize with you. I'll instead be extremely grateful that my father is in good health and hope that doesn't seem too selfish.
I wish you and your father all the luck one can have in the circumstances and hope fate decides not to be too hard on you. The wheel weaves as the wheel wills but that doesn't make it any easier to bear. -
It sounds to me as though you have had a bittersweet trip, Eric. I'm happy that you took the time to go and visit you dad - and I suspect you are, too. This reminded me of my father and the last several conversations we had - al the crap from growing up just melted away when we were confronted with the knowledge that the end was drawing near.
This is a really touching piece, my friend - and I want to take a moment to mention that the rhyme was excellent (and creative). We've talked about Cowboy Poetry before, but I think this is s fine an example of the art as I could imagine - conversational, narrative, and heartfelt.
Great work!
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Eric, this is so tender and heartfelt, and there is such an innocent quality to the way this is written... certain parts seem like the voice of the inner child.
"I'll say this one for Daddy...could you meet him in the air?
I know you're mostly waitin' at the gates, but this is why;
before us kids come 'long, my Daddy used to love to fly!"
Here's the innocence, and it's beautiful and bittersweet...
I'm rather speachless after reading such a deeply felt piece so I'll end this comment here.
Keeping you in my thoughts...
Respectfully,
Chrissy
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There are moments in our lives when there is nothing else but the pure spiritual experience. They don't come often. We have many names for it, that nothing-somethingness, but never has anyone taken me into it like you did with this piece Eric. It isn't the best poetry in the world but it sure threw the emotion out to this reader. I have a visual of the Stargate when something is coming through. I always imagine 'the moment' as being like the Stargate- you know, how Samantha first describes it then O'Neil pushes her into it. And you have made me not only cry but sob and Man, I don't even know your Dad. I guess you made it for everyone's Dad, for everyone who either had or missed the moment. That's how it feels anyway.
Thoughts with you ,
Love from Nik and Stef.
This is Stef who wrote this there Eric as I am signed in and truly he is here with all his kohl all over his face.
Is a special piece and we feel privileged you share it.
Niko.
xox
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