I never thought it would come down to this
but you used me and broke my heart
When I found out you got her pregnant,I was pissed
and that's when things began to fall apart.
It was all a dream to me
I didn't know what I was doing to you
I vaguely remember the screams
but I can remember the blade going through.
Going through her trembling body and yours
and the blood gushing out from your wound
All of your screams and plea's I ignored
while I told you it would all be over soon.
I didn't want to kill the infant child
and since she was already full term,I took her
That night was just so wild
It it wasn't for the baby,I wouldn't even remember what occured.
you both belonged together,so you got your wish
and I got the only thing I ever wanted from you
I promise when she grows up she won't be told this
I'm sorry honey but I warned you what not to do.
Author notes
Just something dark i thought of when i was bored
A contest entry
- Make it hurt. by LivingxXxProof.
1000 points, ended November 9, 2007, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Darkest of Your Thoughts! by Nicky Skittles.
825 points, ended November 12, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My favorite poem!!! by Lola Green.
530 points, ended November 23, 2007, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - She Wants Revenge by mourningmonday.
875 points, ended November 28, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Are You Dark Enough? by Dark Edge.
450 points, ended December 15, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - what exactly have you won? by black lagoon x.
420 points, ended December 22, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Let me see your darkest side by sociaL IntollErance.
400 points, ended January 9, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter Your Best- PW Allowed by InMyFlames.
375 points, ended December 27, 2007, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~ SET the BAR ~ Anything Goes~ Possible of 5750 points handed out! by Florida Sunshine.
950 points, ended February 24, 2008, 182 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1709 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-Write MadNess by Mango Memories.
400 points, ended July 26, 195 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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oh now that hurts!
alot!
owch.
dark and evil and for some reason i LIKE it!
Bravo!
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What an interesting read ~ the intensity of the write was excellent ~ the motion of the piece is also quite good... Overall this is very good ~ I enjoyed it~
Thanks so much for entering the "Set the Bar" Contest ~ good luck -
beautiful i can really relate to this
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This is superbly dark and evil. I absolutely love it. The fact that it is a murder is refreshing because as of yet no one has done so in this contest. While I read it my toes curled so surely it must be good.
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They were warned 'n that's why they had to pay the consequences since they didn't listen, hehe!
, i like this one 2!
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OMG WOW!
I LOVE THIS ONE!
Especially taking the baby, it shows that the killer isn't completely cold hearted. It's hard to tell what people will do when powered by emotion. This is a hot ass write, KUDOS!
KEEP IT COMING!!!!!!!!!!
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wow.Thank you so much for entering the contest!this was one of my favorite ones.
good luck!
-Pixie -
very well written i like it
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A bit sing songish and full of pain. Great write!
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I liked this, but it seemed a little sing-song. The pain was definitely there, and the revenge element too, but this, I'm not sure. I still liked it, but I think if you extended this, it would be even more awesome. It seemed as though there was more to the story, but it was left untold. I enjoyed this poem though, and hope my comments don't come across as rude
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This is great. I like how you're expressing your thoughts and feelings about the situation. Thank you for entering. Good luck.
~nicky
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wow good write. "Pain I still feel for what happened but I warned you my dear." great write
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Hmm, At first I was very against this. Until I finished the poem. I liked it. good luck in the contest.
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For someone so bored, you're sure put a lot of emotion into this piece, wow. It's like fury, anger, pain...all rolled into one 'n for some reason i find it intriguing at the moment, isn't that odd? hehe...
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