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one scenario of being different

There once was a boy who had many acquaintances and not a single friend.
He considered himself too different to be friends with anyone, and other people only upset him;
They liked doing pointless activities, and laughed too easily, and were not thoughtful  enough. And being surrounded by these people and the world they created made the boy feel helpless.
He thought he would never find anyone who was like him. And that was the only thing he wanted.
As years went by, it became harder and harder for him to fit in with everyone else. He found himself less and less able to do the pointless things that they did, and though he still did his best to act happy in the presence of everyone, he was bitter, and angry, and sad.
Then one day, he met a beautiful girl, who liked the way he thought about things, and who liked the way he looked, and who wanted to spend time with him.
Her presence made him feel warm and happy, like he had never felt before.
They fell in love.
But as time went by, the boy, accustomed to being bitter and focusing on the bad side of things, began to notice all of her imperfections.
Some of the things that she did and thought made him upset and he would complain that she was just like everyone else.
His bad attitude upset her greatly, and although she liked him, she also liked all of the other people and their pointless ways, and was unwilling to change.
She left him.
The boy was still mad at her for all of her imperfections, so he did not know exactly how much he missed her at first.
Without the girl, the boy continued down his path of increasing bitterness.
Then one day, she came back to him and wanted to be friends.
The boy reluctantly accepted and they began to spend time together again.
Her presence once again made him warm and happy.
He had realizations that he acted immature towards her before, and that he didn not appreciate her nearly as much as he should have.
This time he accepted her imperfections, and loved her entirely.
They boy thought that she would love him again now that he had changed, and that they would fall in love again and be happy.
But the girl did not love him anymore.
In fact, she had moved on to other men, and she was only willing to be his friend now.
The boy was shocked, heart broken. He told her he had changed. he asked what the other men had that he did not.
She said she didn't know why... only that she didn't love him, and could never.
The boy cried. Harder than he had ever cried.
He saw no purpose in life, he lost interest in all things, he only wanted to sit and do nothing.
But everyone yelled at him and hated him for not participating, and told him to do work that he saw no purpose in.
Life became a hellish decision of either doing work that he had absolutely no reason for doing and that he hated, or getting yelled at and being looked upon as dirt.
He had no reason to live, found nothing but unpleasantries from day to day, and could not take it anymore.
He had no reason to live.
The chances that he would meet another girl like that were slim to none, seeing as how she was the only one he had met in his 18 years, and that long of a wait again would not be worth it, or possible for him.
The girl saw him this way, and said, I wish there was something I could do to help.
The boy told her that she could give him another chance.
But she said no.
The boy killed himself.
Everyone thought he was selfish to do so, and they were mad at him for going against their expectations for him. Some were sad, but it is debatable what they were really sad about.  Perhaps they were sad that they did not get what they had wanted out of him.  Or perhaps that his actions had stirred some long forgotten sense of things that made them a little unhappy with their own lives full of pointless things.
The boy being, dead would never know what the girl had felt after he had killed himself. The part of her that was unique and similar to him would care deeply, and mourn for him, and regret not giving him another chance. And the part of her that was like everyone else would move on and do pointless things, and laugh at things that were not quite funny, and would not think about things too much.
Which part of her would prevail, who knows?
And the boy, being dead, would never know if there was anyone else like him out there, who was encountering the same struggle, who he might have saved, and who might have saved him, if they had crossed paths sooner.

Author notes

I don't remember writing this. I suppose it must have been a huge vent of emotions for me.

It's not a poem, just a story. It's probably not very stirring, but tell me if you like it i guess.

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Comments


  • Tears of ice
    December 29, 2007

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    well i think it is certianly very interesting... scares the shit out of me on some level... i, in some ways, am like this boy. i see other people laugh, and wonder why. i see people doing things, and i wonder why. i have often been known to spend hours mearely pondering such questions as the meaning of life, why we do what we do. it scares my parents and other people, i think because they are scared to think about those things. because if they think about them, they got lost and confused so they avoid them entirely. this story makes me think alot. i gues i wonder if the thing the girl would not have missed the most, was that chance. that chance that that boy could have changed how she thought and who she was. she would wonder if she could have saved him, if she could have done something different so he wouldn't have died, perhaps regretting that decision. perhaps thinking how he would have changed the world. and maybe, just maybe through his death he would have changed the world anyways. how do i know this? because once, i dated a boy who saw only the bad, life had hurt him so, he was etertnally turned towards the dark, and i brought light, momentarily, however, certian circumstances arose that we could nto be together. he , thank god, did not kil himself, but he is now refusing to talk to me at all... and i do think about those things. alot. anyaways... enough of my ranting. i like how it makes me think, i'll be sure to check out yo9ur other work. check out mine if you feel like it. most of it is not deep because i find poetry about what i think difficult to write. i write to elimiate emotions that i might think more clearely. anwasy... i would appreciate comments on that if you feel so enclined or feel free to message me. judging from this story, talking to you would be very interesting
    KaT