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mountains

life can throw the biggest mountains in our way
that it seems only god can climb
but he makes a few women that are strong enough
to over come the obstacles in life he throws our way
including the largest mountains on earth
it seems quite impossible at the time
while you are fighting to the top
especially when each new obstacle seems larger than the last
even when you think you are at the top but a little furthur on
you see that you are wrong
you still have a long way to fight
i had a few friends that decided that their mountains were too tall
and ended up throwing one my way when they jumped off theirs to meet their ends
i have quite a few things in my life that i am not proud of
and i fought my mountains silently and all alone
when i was seven i was raped
quite a large mountain on its own
but what added to the size was i wasnt alone then
i had to sit and watch my best friend
lose her most precious gift along side my own
we didnt tell a soul what happened that day
told us he would kill our family if we did
until a year ago i hadnt told a soul
so my silent fight of my life began at such a young age
a big mountain to over come
but here i stand today a better woman because of it
a year later i found out my friend had died
i didnt have to ask i could just see it on their face
she had heart cancer so it was going to happen eventually
her surgery went wrong the needle went to far in
they couldnt stop the bleeding i was later told
my father was in the military so we moved around a lot
i cant even tell you how many schools i went to
how many friends i had to make and lose
when i was eleven i was raped once again
by two boys the same age as me they tied me to a tree
i cant begin to describe the things they did too me
most of my friends dont believe me when i do
so i just stopped trying to dull the ache in my soul
a year later i was raped once again
but this time it wasnt by males like you would think
it was by my own best friend's older sister and her friends
once again i was raped by females when i was just sixteen
it is amazing that woman can do that to their own
i dont remember what happened they hit me over the head
but i couldnt walk after wards
not to mention i was removing things from places i didnt quite understand
the last time i was raped by a male was when i was fifteen
i was unfortunately in that rebelion stage
i was both too drunk to walk and too high to care
i dont remember much just that i was constantly saying no
quite large mountains to over come wouldnt you say
but here i stand to prove to anyone who is willing to hear
that no matter how huge the obstacle in your way seems
there is always a way to over come to go on with your life
although i am still fighting my way up a hill at this very moment
and i am not sure i would make it if i hadnt had someone that cared
my friends tell me what a strong woman i must be
and my responce is i am not a strong woman
i am just one that is determined to live my life
because it is the only one that god has given to me
in my personal belief that god doesnt throw anything our way
that he doesnt think that we cant overcome eventually
no matter how impossible that may seem at the time
as drill sergeant harris-savage use to tell me
"put one foot in front of the other
and you will find what it is
that you were put on this earth to do
by never giving up hope"

A contest entry

please let me know what you think for i have put my heart on my sleeve in this one

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Symphony
    April 28

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    Too true - life is full of mountains, the question is are we brave enough to scale them.

    thanks for entering


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    July 5, 2008

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    oh most definately, the world isn't always the most friendly to us is it...but we have to try and believe and put some effort in, or nothing will work.


  • Barely Breathing gold member
    June 20, 2008

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    This is such a great write, terrible and sad, but totally from the heart. It had so much emotion here, I felt sad and angry all at the same time. well done and thank you so much for sharing.

  • Herbert The Pervert
    March 26, 2008
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    So much sadness ...

    More sorrow ... I can't explain how much it hurts just to read this ...


  • Rheea gold member
    November 15, 2007

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    the higher the mountain the tougher the cowgirl. and we all know Army girls and cowgirls don't back down and keep climbing are you as tough as me I think you are. God bless us both and all who are determined.


  • suseann
    November 9, 2007

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    This is heart rendering. I'm not sure about you,and don't mind the occasional adverse throw of the dice. But they keep popping me in the head til I'm to tenderized to cope sometimes.Humor helps, sorry if this comment wasn't. Just my attempt at levity.

  • ecrivain01
    November 8, 2007

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    What a story ...

    I can't even imagine what all that would be like. It's horrifying. However, your drill sergeant is correct. In this life, all you can do is make the best of the cards you're dealt, as Kenny Rogers said in "The Gambler". I hope life begins to go better for you.

1 - 10 of 10