No Way

Looking back on it all,
I realise
for the second time

It was my mistake to make,
and I made it willingly,
All of the bad thoughts
and feelings,
over taking me..

And I had no where else to run.
but the hatred for what was done,
I passed it through the glass
and it reflected in your eyes.

But I'm brought back again,
I can barely remember your features..
But your words,
oh, how they reform in my head,
And I now realise,

It's just,
the biggest regret I hold,
But I won't let go.

If I could forget it all;
that would be the end of that,
but how would that be a tangable lesson?

I don't know who's side I'm on
even after all this time;
I'm left battling against myself,
imagining that you still care.

I defend your right;
I backstab my own beliefs
in favour of unreal terms.

I stumble back upon myself,
and the cold steel,
is that of my own design.