I thought I saw you in passing old friend
The late beloved one …long lost
Whose warmest smile and touch,
With cool eyes I shunned and covered with frost
And yet ya refused to hate me…you loved me that much
Oh…by the way…
I thought I saw you in passing dear heart
Our star crossed paths intersects
At the corner of Center Pkwy and Armstead
Quite a few years have passed
Still the resemblance was remarkable
And I don’t care about odds
I’d swear that was you
I’d swear I saw you in passing old friend
We both found ourselves in left lanes
You on the ave. and I on the parkway
I was getting off and you comin on,
I still played the role of a fool in a dark place
Askin questions that had very little relevance to the present case
You went first while I had to wait
And wonder what sort of odds
Would favor me finding her in that cursed congestion
So turned my head and searched the direction
From which I came…sigh…
With that western light in my eye
All the vehicles looked the same
If I make this U when the light turns green
To search for you through that traffic stream
There’s no promise I’d accomplish anything
Except squanderin time I didn’t have to waste
I had traveled for an appointment
So I didn’t make the U that day
Besides, I was already too late
I thought I saw you in passin dear heart
And so I returned to our opening day…
To those first unscripted volatile moments
You and I began to relate
New school, other side of town, unfamiliar faces
Shy guy?
Chu…yeah that’s me
As home room veterans ask questions
Followed by short-lived exchanges
Of stop and go conversations,
I’ll go for the cool intro.
And then again, I’m stuck in observation
You were across the room to my right
Our eyes met first…..what? 4,5,6,7 plus times?
Then you ‘re lookin my way and I’m dodgin you…
I’m dodgin your probe, watchin my hands
Now I’m lookin your way and you’re jukin my glance
You’re searchin again and again I’m turnin
My eyes in denial just for a little while
When next our eyes meet the process repeats
And now we’re all smiles
I move down the hall to my next class
It has to do with math
And there ya go again
Except for this time you’re very close by
You ask for my name, Jo’el is the reply
I ask you the same, Victoria is proper
What a pleasure and an honor
But Victoria’s the mother while Vickie is the daughter
Cooool… I’ll remember that
And got to know ya better
With a little chit-chat
Throughout the whole lecture
The bell rings now…
Onto the next room where conversation resumes
Cause there ya go again
Again the bell chimes…peace, see ya next time…
Peace and a bye-bye but there ya go again.
Didn’t take long for next time to materialize
With sarcastic smiles, “Oh what a surprise? We’re in the same line”
On our way to the next place we’d find ourselves in
And there ya go again until the school day ends
Turns out we shared all the same classes but two
Through the ever-changing scenes of a turbulent thirteen
My constant was you.
Vickie my dear friend, I wish I’d pass you again
Author notes
wrote this a couple of years ago. not totally satisfied with it which is why i haven't posted sooner. seems incomplete i dunno. any ideas? or should it just be scrapped for the public and left in my personal stash?
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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New school, other side of town, unfamiliar faces
Shy guy?
Chu…yeah that’s me
As home room veterans ask questions
Followed by short-lived exchanges
Of stop and go conversations,
I’ll go for the cool intro.
And then again, I’m stuck in observation
Nope. Don't scrap it. I love the recurrent there she goes again. I love the play on Victoria/Vickie, as mother/daughter.
I guess because back home "there you go again" is a segue, or summation in conversations. Some down home flavor I sorely miss.
So, will you hurry up already, and come back soon?
And here I go again,
Jin
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I think it's perfect just the way it is.
you took us on a journey thru your memories.
its very heartfelt.
this is very sweet.
just love it.
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Good but it does need some more development
I like it mybe you should add on to it what was soo impressive about Vickie and why you yearn to pass her again?
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hmmm....i think you have a point here. i suppose i've been reluctant to go any further due to the length that's allready a bit much. but i think i may still add some. you're right it doesn't feel complete and could use further development. thank you.
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old romances find their place and time...reminding us of the best of times and sometimes the worst of time... but life for ya isn't it?
This made me chuckle
reminding of my own past.
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill
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HI Jo'el, I hadn't forgotten I promised to come back to this. I love how sweet this is and the thought of passing an old love brings forth many exciting feelings. I really like your ending. If you were to change anything, and I am not sure that is neccessary, I think it would be to edit the middle, the bit about school. I think you could say all of that with less words, if you wanted.
overall, great write and concept.
Michelle -
I like the idea of your passing an acquaintance, knowing it is her, almost double-taking because the possibility exists...
It got a little long with the eyes meeting again and again, redundant even (just my thoughts). I could see it all taking place but it seems that some things left to the imagination are best unsaid.
All together this is a hefty work of prose that has spoken word overtones. A good poem though!
Candice
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I think....
That this is perfect the way it is...I'd like for it to stay up, and not be fiddled with at all, so i can come back and re-read is sometimes. Or even fiddle with it, change it do whatever you please, but please keep it up. It's a great write it's a wonderful story written in a way that doesn't make you feel like you're just reading a story. Amazing job here!
Erynn
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I really enjoyed this piece. It was really great story-telling throughout. I believe only the author can say whether something is done to his/her satisfaction, so if it's good to you, it's good to me. - cgirl0410
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morning Jo'el
I enjoyed reading this...following the story, I didn't even consider being critical...I just kept imagining the whole thing and smiling. I will reread later, when I have more time and some coffee and see if I have any contructiveness to add, but wanted you to know, I really enjoyed this write.
Michelle
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First of all; thank you for posting this piece. Next; never scrap your poetry even when you think it's crap. It's art and never destroy art.
This poen is wonderful, it tells a story and if a reader is good, he can read between the lines and see your heart. This verse opens so many doors. It may need some editing for punctuation and intonation but it is wonderful as it stands. Remember that reading a poem is as much an art as writing one. One mans trash is another mans treasure and I have been blessed with the gift of finding treasure everywhere I go. This poem is a treasure my friend. You have the heart of a poet, let it grow.
Love,
Amera♥
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