Settled in a playground of safety
relishing in comfort of the confines
And then...
flames burst from a place
I have yet to understand
His skin crawled
beneath my own
without even a mere touch
confusion blending with sensation
Needing to defend the reasons
I kicked past his words
of love
And secretly hindered
the warmth of his spell
Truth cast...
as a razor's sharp blade
his mind, darker inside
than the most treacherous night
Driven to confession...
You...
a punishment I "almost" gave-
to myself
Author notes
Sometimes even when the flame ignites, you have to let go, knowing they aren't right for you and dig deep into the reasons why you let them in at all.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I knew at first, the choice of title would capture me as it would be an interesting poetry that you have written, eventhough it might just be an attempt to write in what you've had trapped inside your inspiration, but I think this progress will slowly flow to the right corner of a great poem, someday. Maybe starting fresh with writting a new poem with good freeverse (use of words and imagery and metaphor can bring out more of a consistence outbring, unless you wanted to be a simple poetry with words that are or can be predictable. Upgrading volcabulary can help you through this hobbie/career/interest.
I have looked up a few of your poetry titles and did found them interesting
,but for now I will look into this poem. There are a few lines I quite like to read...
~ My favourite verse/lines are...
"relishing in comfort of the confines"
"flames burst from a place
I have yet to understand"
"Needing to defend the reasons
I kicked past his words
of love
And secretly hindered
the warmth of his spell"
...And for the least favourite:
------Truth cast...
as a razor's sharp blade
his mind, darker inside
than the most treacherous night
Driven to confession...
You...
a punishment I "almost" gave-
to myself ---------------------
I don't know if it's just me or that that whole verse sounded as though not awkward but just attempting to drive upon the shock of a person's mind. Lol. Not that I don't like the dark side of all of it. It just come by as my least favourite.
I just noticed that all of the words seems to be a lot broken up as what it seems... as though you are trying to force it to make sense to the viewers, but either than that it's okay.
I think by revising at your own pace and change whenever you find a mistake it possible to make it a greater poetry write.
Good work and good luck on your future write. -
I thought I had read this and commented, but I guessed wrong. This is powerful and awesome! It provokes a lot of thinking....I am just "wow-ed" by this! "Secretly hindered" is a powerful frase that many understand.
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Oi!!!! Great job!!!
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How true this is...sometimes without your knowledge but when the truth comes to light, as you have stated dig deep to find the reasons why. Filled with expressive imagery and love the dark & light aspects you have intricately weaved through out this piece.
Much Love & Many Blessings~
~Joy
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Great job Kathy! I love it.
Damon
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If I understand .... I think that might have been where I was headed before I was turned back towards the light.
A strong read Kathy
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