O listen to the elven queen
Her words a soft caress
She'll tell you of the things she's seen
Her secrets she'll confess
A tragic love lost ere it grew
When passion was still bright and new
A tragic love
A tragic love
Like none other- so pure and true
She'd planned to spend her life with him
Together they would rule
Yet now her love for life is dim
Fate has been too cruel
The heavens hear her mournful song
Though she attempts to appear strong
The heavens hear
The heavens hear
And answer that it won't be long
Someday she'll be with him again
With death will come relief
And she'll continue until then
To sing her haunted grief
Her broken soul has lost its spark
Her melody is soft and dark
Her broken soul
Her broken soul
Waits for the love that left its mark
Author notes
Trijan Refrain
The Trijan Refrain, created by Jan Turner , consists of three 9-line stanzas, for a total of 27 lines. Line 1 is the same in all three stanzas, although a variation of the form is not to repeat the same line at the beginning of each stanza. In other words, the beginning line of each stanza can be different. The first four syllables of line 5 in each stanza are repeated as the double-refrain for lines 7 and 8. The Trijan Refrain is a rhyming poem with a set meter and rhyme scheme as follows:
Rhyme scheme: a/b/a/b/c/c/d,d refrain of first 4 words of line five /c
Meter: 8/6/8/6/8/8/4, 4 refrain/8
source: shadowpoetry.com
Picture is credited to Lady-Katerina at Deviantart.com
This is the explanation that accompanied the picture, and was my inspiration:
Terena, Queen of Darkhowl, the most beautiful and sad faerie in the world of Dawndusk. Powerful and wise, Terena become queen of the purple forest since her teenage. Her lover Haldir who was prince of Lunatic Moon died before their marriage. After his dead Terena never stop crying, her mourning is reaching the heavens...
I chose the Trijan Refrain, as this form is how I discovered Amera, and vice versa. It has quickly become one of my favorites.
I know my Trijan Refrains seem to have a theme. Nature, fantasy.. always some sort of message. I don't do it on purpose, I swear! It is simply something about this form. The cadence of it lends itself well to storytelling, in my mind. So that is what my hands write. I have no control over it.
Blame the muse. She’s a tricky biscuit.
In a list
A contest entry
- Amera’s Anniversary Contest by Amera.
25000 points, ended December 4, 2007, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - #51 Turning green to gold by daviscth.
300 points, ended March 5, 2008, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You deserved much better!!!!! by Great Cthulhu.
1450 points, ended March 16, 2008, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any wise words?
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Fun form!
This was a wonder to read. I really enjoyed the form and you've appeared to have recreated it perfectly, well done. A sad story you've spun here. (I always have a soft spot for fantasy...) Thanks for entering! -
Congratulations on the HM although I personally think it deserved higher, but then I love this form with it's lyrical feel. A sad poem with excellent imagery and a pleasure to read.
Sue
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This is a wonderfully done piece of work. Your notes really helped me to appreciate it more. Thanks for posting.
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Great authors notes. I really enjoyed the story told in this. It created such a vivid imagery. Keep Writing!
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This is such and interesting form. It allows you to tell a story with almost a musical quality to it. And you chose a lovely tale to tell, capturing its essence beautifully. This will be on my list (Trijan Refrain) to attempt in the near future. I loved this!
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Thank you!
The singsong/chant-like quality of this form is exactly what makes this one of my absolute favorite forms. I've seen it used to make lighthearted and amusing poems, but it also lends itself well to the nostalgic and bittersweet.
I would love to see yours when you do try!
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A beautifully told story of sadness that you penned magnificently. I have seen this form done by Amera and I will attempt it some time. She is a mistress of form poetry and the Queen of sonnets. LOL Thank you for sharing the author notes also with this. The form was excellent and both rhythm and rhyme created the perfect meter throughout. The imagery was sadly haunting and still it held beauty within it. You captured the essence of this "Queen of Darkhowl" with your words so elegantly penned. Thank you for sharing with all of us. I see Amera's comment and I knew she would love this. Best wishes for you in the contest. Love and God bless, Joyce
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This was really good! You really captured her heartfelt feelings! Good job!
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It paints a picture clearly of pain and lost love. It touches one in a place I think we would all rather didn't exist.
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Cavernous Longing
A very haunting form with rhymes that, while simple, never feel forced. The sentiment comes across easily, and tells a story filled with emotion, longing, and patience. It is a beautiful poem, well done, and just about finalized. I liked it. Nice picture as well. Aloha. -
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"just about finalized?"
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my apologies
Just meant maybe a little polish on a line or two...the one ending in "dim" could use a little pish posh...anyway, it is great "as is"...so don't fret! -
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No apologies neccesary. I wasn't offended, simply confused as to what you meant.
Any suggestions as to what you think I could do with that line? Keeping in mind the rhyming scheme and syllable count, of course.
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This is a great poem. Hope you win the contest.
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Oh, I won't, but it was fun anyway, and that's what matters! hehehe
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How sweet the chosen words for such a melancholic piece that the heavens hear her mournfull song this cannot be denied yet her enduring love speaks of a time that is no more, mankind aside this is an Elvan queen of which you speak so fantasy is allowed to overrule the laws of the common man.
I like it, I like it so!
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Oh my! I truly love this! This poem is magical. You composed the poem in perfect form totaly without stress. The image is vivid and the entire piece tells a wonderful story. I'm impressed!
Love,
Amera♥
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