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Puter

Missing image

Puter

I’ve lost my mind in cyberspace
I used to think outside the box
It’s totally gone without a trace
But now my head is full of rocks

One day this thing came in the mail
I used to think outside the box
I used to be slow as a snail
But now my head is full of rocks

I opened it and found a puter
One day this thing came in the mail
Instructions said it was a tutor
I used to think as slow as a snail

I plugged it in and set it up
I opened it and found a puter
I thought the disk drive held a cup
Instructions said it was a tutor

No more need for pen and paper
I plugged it in and set it up
Thinking became water vapor
I thought the disk drive held a cup

No more need for pen and paper
It’s totally gone without a trace
Thinking became water vapor
I’ve lost my mind in cyberspace

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Pantoum:

The pantoum consists of a series of quatrains rhyming ABAB in which the second and fourth lines of a quatrain recur as the first and third lines in the succeeding quatrain; each quatrain introduces a new second rhyme as BCBC, CDCD. The first line of the series recurs as the last line of the closing quatrain, and third line of the poem recurs as the second line of the closing quatrain, rhyming ZAZA.

The structure is simple:
Line 1
Line 2
Line 3
Line 4

Line 5 (repeat of line 2)
Line 6
Line 7 (repeat of line 4)
Line 8

Continue with as many stanzas as you wish, but the ending stanza then repeats the second and fourth lines of the previous stanza (as its first and third lines), and also repeats the third line of the first stanza, as its second line, and the first line of the first stanza as its fourth. So the first line of the poem is also the last.

Last stanza:

Line 2 of previous stanza
Line 3 of first stanza
Line 4 of previous stanza
Line 1 of first stanza

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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • DolphinLass silver member
    November 12, 2007

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    haha congrats on gold and I think your poem is right in what it says lol have we all lost our minds? A true sign we have lost our minds is when we look for delete key when writing shopping list on paper or try to use white-out on the monitor screen lol


  • Desire gold member
    November 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Holy Moly!!

    Gosh, How do You do this Sweet One
    Oh My Apple Pie

    This had me cracking up
    The images just grab and hold on...
    Woooooooooooooooo Hoooooooooooooooo

    You made thinking outside the box
    something to think about
    Best wishes to You in the contest Sweet One
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • Poetic-Theorem gold member
    November 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Amera
    I must add another note!
    I firmly agree with Scott, you are the only one I know that could come up with Form poetry in a wild and crazy contest like this.
    I mean this is a good way
    Very Clever
    David bows down to the "Queen of Form"

  • Poetic-Theorem gold member
    November 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful funny Pantoum
    laughing all through the poem and the picture is perfect Great rhyme and form

    "I plugged it in and set it up
    I opened it and found a puter
    I thought the disk drive held a cup
    Instructions said it was a tutor

    No more need for pen and paper
    It’s totally gone without a trace
    Thinking became water vapor
    I’ve lost my mind in cyberspace"

    WELL PENNED!!!!!!
    I wish you the best in this cyberspace insanity contest. Love poetry but Form Poetry does dive me at times.
    Much
    David


  • jo-el
    November 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    woww...you certainly know what to do with these forms. and you make fun stories that are so relevant as well. love the repetition. very cool


  • StarEyes
    November 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is tooooo funny and just great! And well have to agree with Griswold, only you could write such a form for this contst!! You are just amazing!!

    Best of luck in this contest!!

    and love

    Nyetta


  • Griswold gold member
    November 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ROFLMAO, only you would fit a wonderful poem to a form for a contest like this Excellently done, and that thing IS a cup holder you know...Best of luck...Scott

  • Judith Chandler
    November 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Interesting form

    I enjoyed your write. It's quite funny

    Good luck with contest.


  • Melodies
    November 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    A perfect form for this contest...

    The repeating lines are just the touch for this mind that feels like it is mad. I love this poem because it is very funny, plus it mirrors what we have all done in setting up a computer. And then LOOK at what WE ARE DOING! Madness!


  • Ithica silver member
    November 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Too funny! My "puter" is ancient and on deaths door, but it still has a memory. Not so sure I can say the same! I may be able to do the dishes and mow the lawn before it gets a page opened, but that's o.k. If I upgrade, it would surely leave me in the dust, or suck up every single spare moment I have left, and then some. It's pretty apparent who's in charge here, huh?


  • sunny day
    November 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Hehehehehe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    WOK!!!!!!!!!! You do know you have me LMAO at this one here. These puters have taken over and there is nothing we can do to stop them. Everybody is floating around out in cyberspace. Those rocks are asteroids that have come flying through the box. This was such a hoot. Leave it to you to come up with this. You never cease to amaze me. I'm still LMAO!!!!!!!!! Best wishes in the contest. It sounds golden to me. Love you my friend, Joyce


  • Sacrificial Love
    November 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Tickled...

    gigglin' to the point of belly laughter...this is cute...I love it...


  • HaleyMary
    November 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful write, Sis. Great flow and I loved the poetic form that you used. Very creative. Also like the pic you chose for this piece, too. Good luck in the contest.


  • PerVirtuous
    November 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Indeed you have... and blissfully so! This was very funny and a perfect example ot a pantaloon. More fantastic form from the form queen herself. Yummy.


    • Amera gold member
      November 7, 2007

      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much dear sir. I'm so glad you like my "pantaloons". I didn't know they were showing.

      Love,
      Amera♥

1 - 17 of 17