Such a confused young girl
with wishes no one understands.
My love I have daringly unfurled
Yet blankly you stand.
You've tempted me long enough;
given me all these lies.
Emotionally I am very tough,
but every grown man cries.
I loved you so very dearly;
with all my heart and soul!
I saw it all so very clearly,
Your the piece that makes me whole.
So I decided to take a chance
explore a minefield in the dark.
I started making my advance,
on stable ground embark.
With every step along the way
I carefully searched the ground.
Making sure those feelings you so display
are not anything to confound.
The whole world blew up around me
everything went black.
scattered about the torn debris
the love I once felt (and now lack).
My emotions laid slain
I felt so very dumb.
“Was it worth all this pain?”
My mind and body numb.
I gained enough motivation
to get up off the ground.
My friend's attempts at salvation
just dragged me further down.
My friends advice forthcoming.
They continued to entice.
"Why couldn't I see this coming?"
"Now I'll pay the price."
"What are you still doing here?"
"I thought it was the end..."
You continue to persevere.
"Did I not truly comprehend?"
"Do you not understand
the pain you so cause?"
"Was all this carefully planned;
to put my life on pause?"
Now I'm just lost in thought,
confused by love itself.
Emotionally distraught.
My soul up on a shelf.
Alone shivering in the cold
I so patiently await
for someone to kiss and hold...
It's my soul the agony abates!
Author notes
This is a pre-write and my AP name is Snared Heart
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A contest entry
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Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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i swear if i read any more of these simply perfect poems i will burst into tears at the sheer feeling of it all!
tres bien, tis amazing!
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It's so sad
.
"You've tempted me long enough;
given me all these lies.
Emotionally I am very tough,
but every grown man cries."
An amazing expression of feelings -
Isn't it unfair?That something that should complete your life is so often the same thing that robs you of all your values and leaves us so pathetic?
I've been there, and I still wonder why love has to hurt.
Its just not fair, and no one put it better than you did. -
wow.
This is a great poem and i like the emotion that you put into it,
dont worry hun you'll find that girl someday ( unless you already found her.)
Good work.
...Simply Me♥ -
This poem is great I love it. As I read it I could feel more and more emotion going into this poem. I agree with "uniiquegirl" when she said the first stanza wasn't as strong ass the rest, it didn't have a lot of emotion in it. But still an amazing write.
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liked it! should the "your" in line 1 be "you're" ?
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Amazing!
Very impressive work. The first stanza was not as strong as the others and I thought that It was going to be another cliche write but you proved me wrong.After each stanza, more emotions are build and there is more tension. The last stanza was brilliant .
The rhyme scheme was great and it flow amazingly .
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wow, this was very emotionally written. You did a great job of expressing your emotions. I'm sorry you are feeling this way though. I wish there was something I could do, something I could say. But I know that there is nothing anyone can do or say that will make it right again. From experience, I know.
Your lines are really effective. The title with it flows. I like how you related it to a mind field. Very nice. -
very good. this is awsome. one of my faves from you by far. i really like the rhyiming sckeme. my fave stanza was "You've tempted me long enough
Given me all these lies.
Emotionally I am very tough,
but every grown man cries." with the last line being my favorite line. Oh, that is so true.
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