You're dead now
and I feel free,
but that sounds so cruel.
Your barbs always
sliced through me,
feeling like a knife
cutting,
sucking my spirit
until I had none left,
cold and seething
unable to voice
or do
anything that disturbed
your high moral ground.
Nails biting into fists
silently bleeding
fury and hostility.
leaving a child reeling
with imprinted memories
of self hatred.
The years of
verbal abuse
slicing, slicing
pieces of me away.
My loathing comes from
not having any worth
or feelings
of truly belonging.
I travel this life
within the desert
of my mind,
your self righeousness
my constant companion.
How I hate
your legacy to me.
In a list
A contest entry
- Rounds Contest [Gravity won't get you high] by Naridill.
700 points, ended November 12, 2007, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Your barbs always
sliced through me,
feeling like a knife
cutting,
sucking my spirit
until I had none left,
cold and seething
unable to voice
or do
anything that disturbed
your high moral ground.
(this is my favorite part)
Awesome poem i can feel your emotion
and i love poems that make me feel what the poet feels.
-
Organization and Overall Impact 9/10
Elements of Poetry 9/10
Grammar, Usage, Mechanics, and Spelling 5/5
23/25
[A]
My comments::-
Very raw this piece, I like the honesty and how in this piece there is some sadness in the anger yet both still work as separate together. Your phrasing shows such beautiful use of language. -
Powerful poem that fits the contest prompt perfectly. The last two stanza are my favorites in this outstanding poem! Good luck in the contest!
-
You know this was a tough one to read for me, you have done a great job of portraying the feelings one goes through in circumstances such as this... I am lost for words now..
Karen
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This is very well done, an excellent write of the pain of verbal abuse that can be caused by a parent. You should enter this into Tory's contest about abuse...Scott
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