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Snow-Swept Road

I stare down at the map
unfurled before me,
nine hundred miles
seems only inches from here.
I see your town,
place a pin where I hope
you are, wishing for me
as I do you.

The cold is blowing in,
I know your feeling
it too. I only wish
to hold you under
a blanket, warmth
in a freezing world.

Here, so far away,
I know I can't have you yet,
but it is knowing that someday
I will be able to touch
your beautiful face,
to hold you as close to my heart
as you already are,
that keeps me lying
awake in bed.

Author notes

Option 8: love

kinda has some influence from Snow Patrol. (multiple songs)

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • ForsakenOne74
    December 6, 2007

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    Interesting piece, sad topic, can sense the feelings throughout it...yet it seems rather muted, the last two lines for me do not seem to fit the rest of the piece, but that is just me...over all enjoyed the read tho, thanx for sharing.


  • GettingPlayed09
    December 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this it makes me think of when I walk down my road to get away but then somehow I always come back because I know everything is going to be ok


  • quantumsurveyor
    December 6, 2007

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    A heartfelt cry and a searing sight of loneliness and anticipation that suits the metaphor and the reality. I found the reversion to lying in bed did not quite fit the mood of the rest of the poem. Good work though.

  • all faded blue
    December 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I liked the sense of loneliness tinged with hope for the future. Thought it was a nice write.


  • Melissa Burns
    December 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I only wish
    to hold you under
    a blanket, warmth
    in a freezing world

    Very nice I also enjoyed the part near the end about your heart. Very sad, but hopeful.


  • Animarising
    December 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Ah, this is really nice. Touching and poetic and I can feel the longing!
    Takes me back...I used to feel like this a lot...
    Nice job, well written.

  • mmook
    December 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    thank you for sharing


  • GiftedPsychosis gold member
    November 7, 2007

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    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    GREAT JOB!!
    This is SOOO pretty, I LOVE it!!
    ♥L♥O♥V♥E♥
    Amazing piece!


    • Akarian silver member
      November 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      =D Thanks! I just realized i kinda messed up the ending! >< oops. I'll fix that lol.


  • LilMrsAttitude
    November 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for submitting this in my contest. A wonderful piece of work. Technical: Can't find any grammatical or spelling errors. Good job. Good luck in my contest.

1 - 11 of 11