The suffering and the pain,
The overwhelming shame,
Leaves her hangi'n there.
Swinging in the pits of despair.
Her childhood non-existent,
Her friends turned to foes.
Selling herself for money,
She's really not one of those.
She's swaying in the chains,
With her head down to her knee's,
She's out and crying' a river,
But no one hears her plea's.
There was no way out,
Her daddy told her so,
Her mommy always said,
She was the biggest of whorry hoes.
She had to bring the money,
Had to make the dough,
With no one there to help her,
She became what no one knows.
And now she's all alone,
With no place to call home,
And in the mists of tangled sheets,
It's just a little girl who weeps.
With her hair in two braids,
And her face a masquerade,
With her pretty little dress,
Stained to the darkest red.
Author notes
It is what needs to be said.
A contest entry
- Quickie What do you think? Pic inspired by WillAlwaysLove.
600 points, ended November 8, 2007, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites by Myjoy.
1000 points, ended November 16, 2007, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ages 13 and Under - Mind Maze by Amunet Wolfbane.
300 points, ended December 14, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think about it?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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A very good flow to this piece. Dark, but I suppose it is true to life for some unfortunately. A good piece.
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wow, this is really good. I like the way you wrote it! it has such great imagery! I love it! keep up your amazing work!
Crimson -
This a Great Poem Kiddo, My wife Pointed your work out to me. Keep up the good work You already have a Great Start.
Oh My wife is PoovyLou
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This is a very nice poem. But Your rhyming varies throughout it's not consistent. And I found a typo. Leaves her (hangi'n) there. Other than that the concept of the poem is great and I enjoyed reading it
Cara
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WOW, this is amazly dark and deep. I really don't know what to say to this. I loved it, it has nice flow and is well worded for the topic at hand. Good luck.
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With her hair in two braids,
And her face a masquerade,
This line was really swell. nice work, a worthy piece.
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wow really good poem. I loved how vivid it was. The only problem I had with it, was that fact that it was really hard to read with your background. I had to highlight it to even see it. Nonetheless great poem, and great rhyming. Keep up the great writing!
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