Someday, someday...,
I dream on crossing the Jordan,
walk through the sea like Moses;
no more hanging up from nooses,
live life without any burden.
Sometimes I bleed from papercuts
just to spill the inks of a splendour thought.
Truly, I strive for the cause
that stops my people from dying of gunshots.
What's worse than Poverty syndrome?
Perhaps the sadness of a father burying his own son.
Look at how much we're spending on the war that we're in
but we can't even provide a safe haven for our own children.
Why do I wish death had snatched me at birth,
when all of our wealths are right here on this earth.
I guess I should be more grateful for my blessings;
I wake up every day to find myself still breathing.
How can I ever soar peacefully above the cloud,
when one's sight is wrapped in a shroud of mist.
Surely, we can dream on but reality is a bytch with a twist
which leaves a heart bruised and plowed.
Today is November the sixth, not too far from thanksgiving.
I can smell the gravy, sweet potato, baked turkey and slices of ham.
Somewhere, at another corner of the world someone is starving.
I can picture dim lights, crying children, alas, so much pain...
Author notes
Mr. Mack
A contest entry
- Pimp up my free verse by leander.
400 points, ended January 6, 2008, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 149th Contest by Tarja.
450 points, ended January 12, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Your Best! by Celticmoon.
450 points, ended January 14, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Thanksgiving by trekkergirl.
900 points, ended November 26, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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This is a wonderfully creative write you have here. I do feel your emotions very well. Especially in the last lines... where you describe what you are going to eat for thnksgiving and then mention all the hungry people of the world. Great write you have here. Very interesting. Keeps the reader wanting to read more of it. And flows wonderfully. And is a great topic. Good job here.
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We often fail to recall that someone somewhere at some time is starving and in dire need and here we sit more often then not wasting time, energy and even food. We should be so thankful for all we have because in an instant it can be gone. Thank you for entering. Best of luck to you!
Blessings
Bel
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A poem that carries a lot of emotions, and heartwrenching realities unfortunately. This poem definately opens up the eyes of the people who don't really think about the poor ones.
Thanks for yet another entry!
Leander -
"Truly, I strive for the cause
that stops my people from dying of gunshots."
I strive here with you dear son. Knowing the pain of loosing a brother to a gunshot to the back of the head, makes me spill over with grief every time I see a news story on this haunting event.
I was sharing with a young man yesterday, that we can no longer place blame on our White brothers for our death toll, as we could in the not too distant past. We are killing one another at alarming rates. Each time we snuff out a brother, we eliminate the possibility of five generations of Black folk. It is distressing, to say the least.
Your last line makes me want to wail as the women at the Wall in Jerusalem. This Earth is indeed the devil's playground and it seems he is rounding up legions as we speak.
It is time for warriors like you and me, and countless others to take a stand against violence. Your sword (pen) has done a mighty work here poet. Excellent!
All My Love...Always ♥
Mom
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wow! this is very well written! It's sad, beautiful and very truthful! I really like how you write - it felt casual at some places, but in a good way. Good job!
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very sad but well written
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another one of your poems i have read ... and again your write with wide open eyes, it is like you feed your thoughts into words onto paper... in this poem remember you speak of what others do and do not do... many hearts sees the world like this, there is no reason for hands to be clasped together... i have learnt and guilty of it too..that many of us see plenty of hardship and do nothing about it...
you write well and a very impressive~expressive writer. -
Again another beautiful write from you! Thank you for sharing this and good luck to you in the contest!!
Leslie
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very good, i really liked the flow and the whole meaning. keep up the good work =D
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Sad but truthful
It is as it will always be, there are rich, there are poor, there are giving, and there are greedy. This is a wonderful tribute to the pains within the world, only to hope we all take the time to be thankful for what do have not what we don't. Well done.
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nice write
much has been said and yet so much in the unsaid. nice write.. -
that was rich & beautiful
and so life brutal! Thankyou kind poet for writing this..like you were whispering our longing thoughts not
wanting to hear them outloud.
That was a fabulous write, good good job!!!!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen : ))
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Imagery
Great usage of metaphors really play out the scernio of what and how life is for every different family and their struggles. keep penning -
well looks like cant say too much more so well done a powerful piece.
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Today is November the sixth, not too far from thanksgiving.
I can smell the gravy, sweet potato, baked turkey and slices of ham.
Somewhere, at another corner of the world someone is starving.
I can picture dim lights, crying children, oh damn, so much pain...
that was my favorite paragraph you have talent you are very good i will be reading more of your poetry
much love
AuraXX
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This is a great piece, thank you for sharing it, such in depth feeling and the look on the war that we put our countries in. It's a great piece, the only bone I will pick is that grateful is spelt wrong. Thank you for sharing and please keep writing. xXx
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Wow this poem has a very powerful messga ein its well written text. This is very well written with great imagery. I know this feeling all too well. So many wars, so much poverty, so many jobs even being replaced by machines (how do they expect you to buy their product if your out of a jo
. The thing that humanity ahs not grown and matured enough to see is we need to put aside our own greed, religion, fears, racism, sexism and so forth and take care of eachother. WE are on the path to self destruct and if we do not see that we are all part of the same race, the same greater family, it will be too late and all over. Great peice here and good luck in the contest!
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Wow I love flow and the rhythm and the rhyme too. This was really really good. It was very perfect. I love that you keep the sincerity and the emotions there. I think what impress me about this is the amount of details that gave so mcuh emotions
like when you said perhaps
its the father that bury his child
that's so sad and emotional
nice imagery too
also when you said
creativitly in metaphors
of how you know you should
be lucky
because all the wealth is found on this earth
that is true and I find that a very deep line
I don't think any man is poor
because we are all given the same things
thing that one don't have
is because he didn't take it
like a future...
very nice inspiring too
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wow
I can feel the pain in your heart, i hate that this war is going on, this is a beautiful poem, and you dedicate so much of yourself to it, this writing is unique, and it defiently covers a modern topic, we need to gather the love of the world, and share, rather than destroy, leave broken and buised hearts. Good luck, and thank you so much!
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