with snail-water,
bleeds
trails of lipstick-
[ breadcrumbs
smeared
from child-play
on mirrors
while waiting
for female. ]
ravenous
crows
have eaten away
her path back
to innocence.
Author notes
word count: 28
In a list
A contest entry
- smeared lipstick by Suzanne Dia.
525 points, ended November 10, 2007, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Kate where the hell are these cackling ravenous crows, I swear I'll grape shoot them.
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Of course I have nothing but praise for you. I don't think I've ever come across a piece of yours that I didn't instantly love. You and your damn talent
I liked the Hansel and Gretel feel to the end, it was a great touch. Good luck, though you and I both know you don't need it
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i really wanted to write to this topic, but find i am unable to find what i really want to say - i spose its one of those uncaptured thots still roaming my unconcious which continues to elude me. but had i the ability to grasp the image, this is how it would be, what i would want it to say...you said it all, brilliantly.
blessings and best wishes,
~r.
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i bought a beautiful lipstick today... Estee Lauder no less... cost me an arm and leg... but hey, sometimes the woman's gotta have it...
and sometimes, she needs snail water and smeared lips and those pressing moments...
damn this is good
yeppp
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snail water is a terrific image
this is packed full of brilliance
elaine
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i like the breadcrumbs idea here- would love to see you play with that image in further poems- i like the bread crumbs leaving this trail.. a pathway..
could almost be turned into a series
m
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this is well portrayed. it's creepy and poignant. i loved it!
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dis should be listed yes?
love the image you created
i can see her, even
bet she left lipstick marks just like the ones on your comp too
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