Just this big
Maybe even less
Encapsulating the whole universe
In a palpitation
A contest entry
- no love poetry by Suzanne Dia.
700 points, ended November 10, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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a heartbeat of poetry
captured succinctly
and very well
elaine
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How apt.
This fits the original picture so well.
Good Luck
Jim
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Very short and bittersweet. Love it great take on the pic. Best of luck to you in the contest.
Delila
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HOW FALLIC
ive never thought of it has encapsulating the entire universe... -
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Certainly it does. The world is a mammoth galaxy of a trillion trillion universes in orbit among themselves and around something beyond our comprehension. Those who realise it first become poets and then real saints. Thanks for reading, Norman.
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This is tantalizing - such a smidgen for a hint of an idea. "The universe in a grain of sand" is the famous line, but eternity in a heartbeat is even smaller than Blake's "hour". But so it is, small things contain great ones by their implications. I like it.
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i don't love 'throb' in the last line, not that it is bad, but somehow it doesn't do justice to the rest of what you created, which is really a clever take on the prompt
thanks for entering -
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You are right about the word 'throb.' Two days of pondering brought me a better word, which I hope you might like. 'Palpitation' it is. I wait with a palpitating heart to hear whether you like it or not, Tyger, Tyger, Burning Bright...Cheers.
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Thanks for the frank comment. But this is a quickie, written in between throbs. Cheers.
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