he drew black
noise
aside -
while gutting
gray
clouds
with the filth
beneath their
fingernails
Author notes
15 words
A contest entry
- no love poetry by Suzanne Dia.
700 points, ended November 10, 2007, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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very good
intriguing
i like the references to noise, clouds, fingernails
excellent choice for a picture -
your skill surpasses my comprehension.
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No Idea why I like this, not my sort of thing at all usually, but this satsfies me oddly. thank-you.
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I like the abstractness of this poem and the definite absence of love weaved through your words. Nicely done.
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Cloud Seeding?
Demonic rain maker, perhaps? Native American Dark Lord who never washes his hands? Alas, I will never be able to figure out what the hell is going on in this poem. The background is certainly in keeping with the theme...at least the black noise part. The opposite of white noise filling pale earth with the vacuum of space? I'm at a loss. Although I like the sound and look of this, I think it takes me nowhere. Perhaps that is the intent? Into the Void? Sabbath Rules! So, that's enought to make me want to leave this cave and walk into the light... -
I like this. But one little question: what exactly is black noise?? just a metaphor? what for? (sorry for all the questions... lol) keep up your great work, tho!
Crimson -
No love in these lines, that's for sure. Liked the brevity of the lines and the flow of this short poem. Doesn't take many words to make this point.
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- with the filth
of the filth?
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I meant with. but you make me think.
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I liked the style and word usage...but I am a but confused. I like the imagery, however.
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i liked the poem but i think it could be more detailed and alittle longer i didnt have a real understanding of what you were trying to get at with this poem sorry
plzz do not take affence cause i am not the best writter my sel -
powerful
very good write on this topic . . strong word choices . . concise and to the point . . good picture . .
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stark words that are, as has already beeen said, very evocative, quite thought provoking actually. Nice work.
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okay wow...
stunning. so few words yet you've drawn a perfect picture. kinda speechless so i'll just clap away
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so creative...so imaginative... wonderful...PK
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hmmmm...
well you do use lots of imagry!!! And i like this little poem!!
great job!!
--kat
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Interesting
Seems fitting that the "he" did all that with "their" components...as if to say "look here!" Nice.
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Evocative. Clouds with filth beneath their fingernails is unusual imagination. Beautiful.
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Wonderful dear...Truly wonderful...All the best!
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You're such an awesome writer. Very impressive with the solid imagery . . . wish you well in this contest.
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oh, this is excellent, amazing poetry...
Very creative take on this picture prompt!!
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WOW Sensational!!!!!!!!!!!!
perfect.. Best of luck to you in the contest
Delila
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Amazing as always! The vision and power in your words is untouchable. Beautiful metaphor and imagery.
Outstanding job.
Best!
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very nicely written.. i like it a bunch
m
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Wow, the simple worded images in this are so complete and varied and I can see so many things here. I especially liked the ending, it seems to say that the bad things are hidden and we try to pose nicely but that's really only a mask. I enjoyed the word economy and symbolism here a lot.
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wonderful! incredible wording, descriptions, imagery... and all without saying too much at all!
brilliant!
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this is NICE. proud of this really!!!
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Your awesome
I cannot compare to this divine entry.
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uh huh
have i mentioned lately that you're brilliant?
seriously
thank you
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