A kindly fungus,
Calm chooses where
And when
To sink its thread-thin tendrils in.
You cannot will it to come.
As snow, it floats down, particulate;
Swathing and muffling our voices,
Spring finds it rising
With time-lapsed eruptions:
Snowdrops, narcissi, daffodils…
Or carrying tiny spiders on a gentle breeze.
And this can happen anywhere
A misty station; six-thirty,
Urban steps,
A wood by the reservoir-
We can’t predict
Any more than control it.
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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i feel unable to understand your
poem without some guidance from author's notes. I know it's my lack and not your inability to communicate because so many people seem to get it. To me calm is a trainable state, hence meditation. So many metaphors confuse me. Stillness, seems to me more what you are talking about, yet even that can be controlled, but only within one's self. I would truly appreciate an explanation because i feel I'm missing something important.
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Perhaps it is because you're looking for a 'personal' calm (you mention people who are calm in your comment) - this poem is more about a calm atmosphere. It's about how just as noise might disrupt a traditionally calm place (like a forest glade) a quietness and glimpse of nature can make the urban/'ugly' places calm in atmosphere, too. The calm creeps in when no-one's looking and suddenly somewhere ugly seems peaceful and beautiful.
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Perhaps the sentence "you cannot will it to come" led me astray.
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after tussling with some unsettling, angst poems, i must say that it is quite a delight to read this "calm" piece. i found it very relaxing and would like to thank you for this. i particularly liked way you used the word "particulate". other than this, i can't say much. i don't have anything to nitpick about this poem. so i must say that it is indeed a very good poem.
p.s. when you referred to the calm, you didn't intend the calm of dead also, did you?
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you write like a lovely dark writer
piercing our thoughts with metaphors.
You should really join a group, and be heard boldly,
and enjoy the poetic challenges and inspirations that
being a part of a group can give.
well done poet, well done!
ears/Seattle. it truly inspired thought!
. Rewarded 4
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Your third stanza was amazing.
John
. Rewarded 4
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I think this is probably one of the best I've read of yours so far.
It has so many things in it, yet, flows. Each
attribute of the natural slides easily into
the next one. Verbs used sparingly, and subjects
very nicely listed.
I love this line:
Snowdrops, narcissi, daffodils…
Or carrying tiny spiders on a gentle breeze. Very selective, it singles out each object without
jumbling the thought.
I like the ending. It's got contemporary language
with a classical feel.
The title is intelligent, definitive and
suggests a double entendre with a verb
AND an adverb descriptive of the moving
noun (calm). It is edgy.
Generally, I don't think a 'single' line
survives poetry well. But with one that has
such beauty and obvious intention, this one
is an exception!
Loved it!!!!
. Rewarded 8
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Thanks.
If you see this poem vanish, don't be alarmed- I want to enter it in something (hence the editing focus) and I'm not supposed to have it up while the contest is on.
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Hi, Squeezy.
Your poem goes great with the warm beverage I'm drinking!
The first stanza of this poem is awesome. Love the use of consonance, er, or is that assonance in the last line? Whichever, this stanza is definitely not shiitake as there is no morel being shove down ones' throat. lol
I like how you've set off the fifth line buy itself. I forget the poetic device this is called, but it is very effective as it reinforces the theme.
Juxtaposing Winter and Spring, bringing out the characteristics of Season on sound is nicely carried out in the next stanza. Finely crafted. Squeezy, you're really hitting all cylinders here!
You then described 'calm' as happening in places that are easily seen by the minds' eye in the final stanza; in perfect poetry, too.
As a disinterested (neutral) reader of this poem, the last line stands by itself; yet you, as the author, might be able to find some place to put more tendrils. You would have to be careful here, as it would be possible to weaken what you've elegantly crafted above.
Thanks for an enjoyable read. ~Clay.
. Rewarded 8
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Calming
Excellent write and so true. If only I could will calm to come
Bravo on this great metaphors. The piece itself calms. Well penned
WD
. Rewarded 4
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