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Slithering Serpents

 

 

 

 

 

slithering serpents

and soft sheets of satin,

sweet memories sleeping

in silent hush of sin;

 

 

 

this poisonous venom

my sweet elixir;

enchanted delirium

slivers and shards ,

like toxic mercury

cold ice warmed parched lips

and crystal tears stained and smudged

sharpie colored mascara eyes;

 

 

 

wings of a sparrow -freed

a one night escape from this gilded cage,

petals of burgundy roses

the color of the lips of the asp;

hush now my darling

do not utter a word,

just let me remember for now.....

I'll repent when the sun is due East.

 

 

 

Author notes

an "insomnia write" I don't have a clue , so I am surely not expecting the reader to comprehend these ramblings. I guess it might be a bit of this new thing "dirty pretty" and I thought to try my hand at it. And yes-----I do believe I'll make an appt with the shrink
Prompt used :I'am buried beneath the bedsheets, where the thoughts of you still sleeps"

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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • Reptile Lady gold member
    November 18, 2007

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    Imaginative write
    this poisonous venom

    my sweet elixir;
    Oh your facts are so near correct here
    I feel such deep emotions and the imagery is fantastic
    Its also good to see someone write about the serpents
    Best wishes
    Julie x

  • Liquid memories
    November 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    such depth filled emotions of many feelings you have shared. i would love to share mine, but far too many for my concept to expressed, though i found the asp, a snake of poison, a fitting part of this. you wre for sure out there and this filled many thoughts and processes.


  • yumanbeing
    November 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    ps

    in light of the references to the subconscious meanings others have made I have to play the doctor role-
    One word: escape - even if temporary -
    One looks to escape in dreams from trying times -
    some have the misfortune of nightmares
    others have conflicting dreams - allusions to freedom, escape, with sharp edges infringing on joy -
    Again - I loved the contrast of sharp and gentle -
    had to try my hand as a shrink - this was a very creative piece - I am still impressed with the conflict of softness and cutting edges -


    • cherche -d -ame
      November 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      on ps

      hang another shingle [doctor of psychiatry]

      some have the misfortune of nightmares
      others have conflicting dreams - allusions to freedom, escape, with sharp edges infringing on joy -

      That seems to sort of sum me up as of late. I have actually been paying very close attention to my dreams and or nightmares as of late and within a few days they make a lot of sense to me and I can actually go back and explain every part of them.....how, why and what EXACTLY made them come about the way that they did.

      and re escape: When all this is over I really will escape , not virtually, not in writing, dreaming or such. Somewhere where the world as I know it now does not exist. BTW, do not know if I mentioned it....but MY mom seems to have done a fast descent into senility or Alzheimers. I would say within the last 18 months or so....and she is not all that old

      I guess maybe that is why I was so affected by your write about taking your mom to visit your son at college as a b'day presentYou have time now to cherish her and to make up for time lost [not due to anything coming from you]But I guess it had to be a hard spot to be in, [trying to juggle both those relationships and trying to do right by both] But in spite of what you might jokingly refer to as "old man-self", this is a brand new strat of so many things. Go for it
      z
      reenie


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    November 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is just wonderful. Doesn't read like 'Dirty Pretty' to em though but maybe I got it wrong.
    I read a clandestine meeting filled with sensual illusions, one that the daylight will show to be wrong.
    Amazing imagery and metaphors. Love the first part about slithering and satin sheets! Oh my!
    All the best with this awesome piece my friend
    Gaylene

    • cherche -d -ame
      November 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thanks my friend---you know I really do not even undrstand what dirty-pretty really is but I am glad that you got something from the write. Oooooooooooh that word "clandestine" have not heard it in ages and now it has my mind wandering all sorts of places. isn't the mind and imagination a beautiful thing?
      much love and thx again,
      xoxoxo
      reenie


  • Pete Greenslade gold member
    November 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i await you bite reenie,,your venom is my elixir


    • cherche -d -ame
      November 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      lol Peter, let me find my plastic halloween fangs so I can draw blood during that bite
      xoxoxoxo
      reenie


  • yumanbeing
    November 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wonderful contrasts of sharp, cold images with soft amd warm allusions
    dirty pretty successful

    • cherche -d -ame
      November 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Rich. I really do not have any idea how this came about [but I am pleased that in spite of that you were able to see in it , that which eluded me]
      z
      reenie

  • Dobar Dan
    November 6, 2007

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    Slither Away Cher

    In my minds eye I captured the the imagery of the content - It paints a "pretty dirty" picture - I like the way the poem flows even though rhyme is lacking - you did a great job here - keep on keeping on - Bless God - Joe - P.S. I wrote a poem called "Sneaky Snake" which you may find interesting -

    • cherche -d -ame
      November 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you Joe. I will make it a point to look that one of yours up a bit later. I appreciate your time and kind comment

      reenie

      • Dobar Dan
        November 8, 2007
        Edit | Reply

        You are Welcome

        Thanks - have a great day - Bless God - Joe xxx


  • JohnnyD gold member
    November 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Reenie,

    "Dirty Pretty"? OH! You've been gardening again! Well put the leeks, carrots and radishes in the sink and I'll clean them up and toss them in a nice fresh salad with your home made dressing, and you take a nice hot bath and relax. I'll put the Salmon on to grill in about 20 minutes so when you're done dinner shall be ready. You've 15 minutes to reflect on which wine you wish from the cellar.


    toodles

    Len

    • cherche -d -ame
      November 7, 2007

      Edit | Reply
      oh my....wow And why is it that you are single? what a shame...as far as the wine, [surprise me]and while you down the cellar make sure you turn all the bottles a quarter of a degree Also.....the last of the grapes have been harvested for the year and it looks like we will have a fine selection from this year [I overheard the hired help speaking]
      z
      reenie;f

      • JohnnyD gold member
        November 7, 2007

        Edit | Reply

        la vie merveilleuse

        yes, the extra heat the week before the full moon harvest will spike the sugars and I expect a bouquet better than 98 from this pressing. Of course here in eastern Bourgogne, the Pinot Noir is beyond superb. And for dinner me lady, I have selected for you a
        91 Romanee-Conti, of which we only have one and a quarter cases left. It was chosen to reflect the flowery bouquet of me ladies soul.



        Len

        • cherche -d -ame
          November 13, 2007
          Edit | Reply
          only one and a quarter case left? has the hired help been helping themselves again? This made me smile and I hereby officially declare you a "somellier"
          z n xoxo
          reenie sojourner of Truth


  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    November 6, 2007

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    Dirty pretty this is indeed!!!

    I would love to hear your shrink's opinion. lol!!

    Good luck with the contest!!!

    Becks

    • cherche -d -ame
      November 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you BecksThis really is a rather odd write for me [but I guess between insomnia and the common knowledge that a writer likes to experiment this sort of came about. I love your avatar, but don't you dare and eat that apple though
      a propos shrink, lol......knowing him he would say that this sounds perfectly normal to him

      reenie










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