Your scent still lingers on my skin
as I turn between the sheets;
close my eyes;
breathe you in;
and savour every touch
before that breath wears thin.
A contest entry
- cookies and cream ice cream (for you) by u took my user name.
650 points, ended November 22, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Be honest, I promise it won't hurt;
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
....
very short.
but...i can just relate.
you're amazing.
i think you should've won. =\
-monica
-
i like it.... short and sweet, but i was looking for something more. more detailed.
It seems like i've read this many times before -
It almost sounds unfinished to me. It is very soft and eloquent so far, but it leaves me wanting more. I think that the feeling that it should go on is mostly due to you rhyming in and thin. It is very good. Perhaps a part two?
Good write and good luck in the contest.
♥Juliet -
As I've grown older I've grown to apppreciate the word scent, and I really love the context you use it in. People's scents are wonderful things, and this is another wonderful poem for another reason. It makes me think of a journey, because you did well with the rhyme.. ending thin.
God you're so remarkable.
I am really happy for such a co-incidence.
-
Very...
sexy, you really are very good, and seeing your age you can only improve. This is a compliment. WASP.
-
isn't it always like that though.
when he goes away you can still hear his voice and you can still smell his skin, but when you open your eyes he's gone.
long-distances are always hard, no-matter how close they are I think.
breathe him in while he's there to be inhaled =]
good luck in the contest,
and liek you said of my poem, i can totally relate
=]
Rilly
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Very sushi...
Excellent flavor and texture in this short piece...worthy of its dip in wasabi-laced shoyu.
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