penning poetic fallacies
for the harsh sake of fidelity;
splattering martyred droplets
of revelations onto flesh canvases;
etching away at hardened plaster
till abrasive beauty remains--
demanding an audience;
sculpting pretenses to reveal
the blunt edges of a reality
undesired by sanity’s world;
Author notes
grr. I kind of cheated. I wanted the title to be a line. But instead, I made it the title. teehee.
'Artists use lies to tell the truth while politicans use them to cover the truth up'
~V for Vendetta
In a list
A contest entry
- [PIF] Quickie 10 x 10 x 30 by Naridill.
300 points, ended November 6, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
critical responses appreciated
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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-of revelations onto flesh canvases;
canvas'? (if I'm not wrong)
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canvases is the plural of the noun form of canvas, no?
so canvas' would be plural possesive?
I think that's right. hmm. I'll run it by my English teacher.
thanks for pointing in out
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Nope. You're right. I've been doing my plurals wrong, I believe. That's horrible. I'm mortified.
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eh. whatever, girl. nothing to be mortified about it. the english language is fucking complicated as hell. I just better get used to it since I'm going to be teaching it, huh? lol
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Nah. I used to be pretty confident in my English skills. Now that's down the drain. Eh wells, I won't be making a fool of myself anymore, at least. I could've sworn I learned plurals with everything ending in an s as the word followed by an apostrophe. Anyhow, this poem rocked.
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Congratulations on gold!
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splattering martyred droplets
of revelations onto flesh canvases;
that part is fucking amazing baby!
it was like.. WHOA!
God i wish i could steal your brain and helz.
then i would be unstoppable!
mwahahahahahahaha
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Wow! Well deserve win
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I agree with them all... This piece has such a brilliant emphasis between the lines of 'artist'. VERY well written piece - great imagery. Wonderfully refreshing! Best wishes in the contest!
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Wow. That was fantastic. You did an excellent job with the prompt, brought it to life. Best of luck.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
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wow~~! Now that was a hit of gorgeous writing. Very nice phrasing, captivating imagery and stunning word play.
Thanks for entering and much luck ~~~!
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I love this. It's so true and well expressed. This is something obvious and yet I've never thought of it that way. You have described an artist's work very accurately. And I like your prompt too.
The only thing I'm not sure about is the fact that you've started each stanza with a gerund. It does give the poem a structured feel, but somehow I wonder if that was your purpose or it just happened.
Anyway, very nicely done.
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do you like it that way, or no?
it was intentional because I have OCD and am obsessed with evenness. but I'm definitely open to alteration if something else would work better. -
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Oh, well I'm sort of recovering from my own obsession with using few gerunds
But it's fine in this piece otherwise, especially if you did it for symmetry. Either way this poem feels like something to ponder, and it's good because it's so simple. You didn't really overdo the gerund use, like others do. -
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I understand, lady! I usually do use too many gerunds though (in English and in Spanish!), so I'm always happy for another eye on the piece. Thanks for the feedback!
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I may as well just remove my piece now because this is stunning! I feel somewhat inadequite
Well done hun
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that means the world from you.
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It's the truth hun,
You're getting a million times better every time I look.
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