if this is end or beginning i cannot tell
i couldn't say if i were in heaven nor in hell,
if i could tell you the answers, of course i would,
i'd love to, but i can't grasp my own being.
it seems all i had ever wanted was you, and
all i could ever lose i lost, the pieces had slipped,
my hands ran dry of old memories, and it was no longer.
there is nothing anyone can say to fix that old story,
but getting my heart to accept what my mind knows is hard.
there's an ache inside me, a creeping ouch that sneaks up,
and it won't leave me alone, i can't put it away for good,
it haunts me in songs, in memories, in letters and poetry.
it is there when my eyes are open or when they are closed.
it's in my heart, it lives, breathes in my soul.
alone is the scariest feeling yet-nothing can compare.
it seems i've lost all chance of seeing your face.
i can't let the past go; until there are terms, what can i do?
it is my fault, but i want it to be yours.
i can't tell you why or what went wrong, but good friends
don't wish the things i wished, even as subtly.
how can i live in the shadow of him?
somehow, it seemed, no, it still seems, it was meant to be-us.
i can't let that go.
the moment that i stop hanging on, i fall.
but, what can i say? i guess that's just how the dice rolled.
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