Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

One Night Stand

Sweat slick silhouettes
Glisten in alarm clock light
Tangled thighs tremble
From effort and pleasure
Moist mouths moan
Gasping for air
Bare breasts burn
As hands grasp
Sharp, stinging slaps
Hot with a touch of danger
Pulsing passion peaks
All thought vanishes
Frenzied fucking finishes
In a burst of pounding
Lovers lay languid
Till I drive him home

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • csmmoms2
    October 15

    Edit | Reply

    Stunning

    It's gonna get wet...get all over you in a one night stand. No whispered promises, no see you tomorrow, no e-mails, no thank you very much...it's been real... -c


  • Misskaoz
    October 14

    Edit | Reply
    Great Write. I really enjoyed the lines with word association (that's what it is called right?). Keep on writing and I will keep on reading.


  • brochoppie
    October 14

    Edit | Reply
    I love this one! Unfortunately, I`ve been there all too many times. Great choice of words, it has a great flow and it really brought me to what you were saying.


  • AutumnAshe
    October 13
    Edit | Reply
    Superb an pounding imagery!


  • AceOSpades
    November 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Grrr what a great last line! It reminded me of a Bukowski poem, but with less filth. The poem builds and builds with the alliteration and the images, and just like a real person reacting afterwards, it steps back and looks at itself and becomes realistic again. I'm not a person who has crazy one night stands... but I know that feeling exactly.

    I also just love "alarm clock light" and "pulsing passion peaks" as phrases. Awesome.

  • AltruisticSociopath
    November 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Very Telling

    I like the direct language in this piece. The tangled imagery is also good. ("Tangled thighs tremble.") Some of the lines seem a bit disjointed, such as lines 9-10. They don't flow together or break apart, and I get somewhat confused.

    The alliteration of "frenzied fucking finishes" is golden. ::grins:: "Pounding" is also a wonderful word.


  • LilMrsAttitude
    November 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Definitely love the alliteration. Added a spark to the sexy scene. Nice job, this totally turned me on. Nice job.
    ~*DJ*~


  • Swangrnv gold member
    November 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    You just wanted him...

    ...for his body!? OH shame on you! l.o.l.! 4 real this
    is hot! good luck!


  • WillAlwaysLove silver member
    November 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Great write, it was excellent. You did what I asked and I thank you. You got my juices flowing, very seductive. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.


  • Venugopal gold member
    November 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A great poem on intimacy, you potrayed well this poem.Happy to read this poem..good arousing sensations..nice write..thank you


  • jcat gold member
    November 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    LOL... this was awesome!!! I love it... "Til i drive him home".... I love that it is a woman who is having the one night stand instead of her being the one night stand!! haha.... This is just great!!

1 - 11 of 11