There's a place not too far from here,
where stars light up the midnight sky every night.
Where people come from far and wide,
to witness at firsthand its beauty and splendor.
Here in this land is a little girl,
one who has never seen a star before.
From a distance one catches her eye,
she runs as fast as her little legs will take her.
She sees other children her age and watches them,
each one climbing a different star and ascending into the sky.
She does the same and reaches for the thick rope,
it immediately rises up from the earth.
In awe and captivated by the sights that she sees,
she waves good-bye to her family and friends.
Holding on as tightly as she can,
she closes her eyes and falls asleep on the star.
She awakens to see her other little friends a few feet away.
Lovingly, she waves and throws them all kisses and hugs.
She cries a tear knowing that she is so far from home,
and that she may never be able to go back.
Her heart sighs as she enters a peaceful world,
another place and time deep in the heavens.
A place where she will call home for the rest of her life.
With every beat of her little heart she misses her family.
"If only there was a way that I could return home,
to see my older brother and sister again.
I wish there was a way to tell them that I am fine,
and that I will be alright where I am today."
Years go by and her family moves on without her.
They often go back out to that field to say a prayer.
Hoping that one day she will return to their lives,
back into their arms and into their home.
Not knowing that she is gone forever,
they hold hands and look up to the sky.
Tears overflow and cascade down from their eyes,
as they hear a Heavenly voice from up above say,
"You can still see her every night,
just look up to the north end of the universe.
She now owns that star that she reached for,
and if you look hard enough, you'll see her smile."
They do and their hearts are enlightened.
Each of them thank God for the wonderful message.
A message that would change their lives and world forever.
The smile of their little girl still shines today.
Author notes
These were some awesome prompts in this contest!
Thanks a lot for holding it and for giving me the opportunity to participate in it.
Picture Prompt
Option #5
In a list
A contest entry
- Learning To Fly~ (For the group "Poets WIth Feathers") by poet2angels.
2200 points, ended November 13, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poems That Should Have Won...But Didn't by trista.
1050 points, ended February 24, 2008, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Friends, I appreciate your comments and review on this write. However, please do not add my name to your comments due to the contest rules. Thank you very much!
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
Hi Jeremy,
Thanks so much for taking the time to enter my contest. Unfortunately, since this has already won an HM it doesn't fall under the rules for my contest, so I can't consider it for a trophy.
(Congrats on the HM though! 
)
I do want to say I think I remember reading this before and thought/still think it's a lovely story. I think it crosses over into short-story format verses a poetic one quite a bit though, which can sometimes be a problem depending on a contest host's preferences. You may also want to look at the repetition of the word "little". You've used "little girl" at least a couple of times, also "little legs" and "little heart". It becomes very noticable and seems to put too much emphasis on the word, when there's really no need for it. There are so many words to choose from, such as "tiny" and "small" for example, so don't feel like you have to limit yourself to only one.
You have a very touching poem here, one that I'm sure would bring comfort to anyone whose child is missing for whatever reason. Thanks again for giving me the opportunity to read this, and good luck in all your writing endeavors.
Best wishes,
~J. -
vEry tOuching. . . i love the atmosphere of your poem. . very beautiful! !
-
a child missing and her parents desperate pleas for her safe return finally answered by God... How absolutely beautiful... You rended my heart from my chest with this piece... but it is a great reminder that if we choose to listen closely enough He is always ready to answer our prayers....
-
Now that is a true angel dear brother.
One I know I will never be.
Thank you for this wonderful thought
for children are so special.
You are the best dear.
and this is a beautiful write here.
you did awesome.
Riftkin -
"You can still see her every night,
just look up to the north end of the universe.
She now owns that star that she reached for,
and if you look hard enough, you'll see her smile."
This stanza stood out the most to me because I like to think that Caleb is smiling down on me. This truly touched my heart and almost made me cry but I got a hold on myself. This is a GOLD winner for sure I love this my friend and its going straight to my favorites Thank you for sharing and good luck to you
-
Wow really beautiful and well written! Nice picture too. I've never written a poem from a picture like that. Very cool.
-
Lovely interpretation and so beautifully and softly expressed. A gentle depiction of a child's passing from this earth that touches the heart. well done and best wishes.
-
Beautifully written! The imagery and emotion so lovely !
Great interpretation of the pic!
Lynda
-
awwwwwwwwwwwwww this is beautiful my new brother inlaw best of luck in the contest
-
awww this is soooo amazingly beautiful!!! I love it completely, and it was beautifully sad. Thank you for sharing this with me sweet brother,
~love and blessings always~ best to you in the contest
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
