She wanders the store,
navigating the narrow
space between the racks.
Touching the clothing
with her fingertips,
wishing for those beautiful
items more than anything
she had ever wanted.
The clothes that would make
boys notice her, girls envy her.
The clothes like all the celebs wore,
on the streets of L.A. and New York.
The ones that appeared in all
the hip magazines, given 5-star ratings.
The $250 clothes, the $500 shoes,
all that she wants.
She thinks they will make her cool,
popular, and smart.
Those clothes that only cost $15 to make,
but cost a month's paycheck.
She wants these so bad,
she would be willing to get sick,
hurt someone, or steal them.
These are the things she loses
her innocence and responsibility to,
mere articles of clothing.
A contest entry
- Quickie: Freeverse & Whatever by Ryno.
300 points, ended November 8, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think of this poem? What can I do better?
Comments
-
I really liked the message in this poem... this describes perfectly how lots of people are feeling. They are just articles of clothing, meant to keep us warm, but yet, these clothes seem to make other people judge people. I think you nailed the situation very well.
My suggest would be to add an ending that moves the poem along more; as I was reading this I was waiting for an ending to the poem that would help slam the emotions into the reader, yet, it seemed to almost just stop without an ending. It seems incomplete.
Great job, really enjoyed this piece and the message it was portraying, thank-you for your entry.
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