Take another look at this woman.
Stay long enough for her to realize
this isnt just an illusion
created by the smoke still in her mind, long after the fire
You washed away with thoughtless words
At least hand her back the strings attached to the heart
Still lying on the front doorstep
where you left it
the chilling cold freezing it to the core in ways she couldn't have imagined
She won’t be long -she knows you’re busy-
She only came to ask for the bits and pieces you took of her
-she wonders if its because she’s so trusting
that you’ve made this habit Of stealing parts of her when she’s not looking?
But she’ll never ask you out loud
and wait for you to think up promising answers
she’ll find empty again.
And if all this is too much to ask for-
Then please ignore
all these heartfelt words -for we both know Heartfelt is a language you haven’t learned to speak
And she’s begun to realize her requests were made in vain
As you aren’t prone to change
And perhaps its because you know she’s not going anywhere soon
And perhaps its because you find her unwavering faith
amusing
And perhaps its because we both know
A part of her is permanently locked in your bottom drawer
never kept near, but never let free
But if you wont change your ways can you at least be more thorough and crush her down completely
so she wont be inclined to pick herself up again and In the end fall down?
Can you make the world stop spinning for a bit so she can catch her breath and somewhere along, her common sense?
Could you look for some sort of remedy
to cure this uncommon naivety she seems to acquire only whenever you’re around?
And she’ll ask all this standing straight and proud
though inside she’ll be wondering
If she lingers around you subconsciously
For a reason other than to regain her stolen pieces
And though she wants to be whole again
She’ll let you go on taking her apart
And keeping fragments of her
As though they were souvenirs
and we both know you’ll feel guilty afterwards, but
she doesn’t want your guilt
she never wanted your guilt
or pity
though that’s all you’ve ever offered her sincerely
in honesty
she fears she can’t thank you for a gift she could never accept
-she’d rather be offered nothing-
All she has left to say to you
are requests you’ll never honor
Author notes
This has no real rhythm -it is quite personal- I just needed to get all that feeling out somehow- and ranting seems to get the job done.
Although its not your typical poem- it is one of the most honest things I've written.
[[Option 5 & 7]]
A contest entry
- Quickie: Freeverse & Whatever by Ryno.
300 points, ended November 8, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whatcha got now? by Southern Darling.
700 points, ended January 1, 2008, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emotions Crying Out {Options} by newnoakua.
550 points, ended June 16, 2008, 92 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Wow, that was really good. It was so heartfelt!
Thanks for entering...
Best of luck in the contest... -
Finalist, is all i can say.
I thought this was amazing [=
Thanks for entering [=
♥
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Honestly, I think you totally should have won this contest.
but thats just me.
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Wow thank you so much!! Honestly- Your comment has totally made my day. Actually- its made my week Thanks!!
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AMAZING. The pretty factor is tangible in this piece, the voice unmistakable, the turns of phrases pulling out of circles. Clever, indeed, with a good ending line that leaves the reader wondering - 'is this so?' The theme is haunting, and the poem sticks with the reader, forcing them into contemplation of themselves in such situations. BRAVA
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Thank you so much for your kind words. I hold this particular piece of writing dear to me because it is so personal and heartfelt, and I am sincerely glad you liked it.
Best wishes!
Cordelia
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This poem was incredible.
I don't even know what to say...
♥
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Thank you so much. It's not much of an actual poem, since it has no real rhythm or flow- but its one of the most honest things I've written. Thank you for commenting.
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I liked this; you did an awesome job with making the emotions so clear and easy to relate to. Quite a strong rant at the end, but I think if you ever feel like it, you could spiff it up into a good poem too... pretty bold write, loved it, thank-you for the entry.
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