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tortured soul

the cold steel blade glides down his vein,
the blood pours out but he feels no pain

he faces the wall with a melancholy stare,
contemplating his life of pain and despair

why is he tortured by these unseen demons,
attacking at random for unknown reasons

standing his ground, refusing to fall,
times of light and warmth he try's to recall

so now in desperation he takes his own life,
releasing himself through the blade of his knife

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • oOHannahListerOo
    September 5

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    Whoa

    Very very dark indeed. This is like an anti-Dustin . sad face. Still, it's perfection as per usual. Damn it.
    Love
    Hannah
    x x x

  • good job an im loving the background


  • Andi.
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    very dark, and very unlike you.
    but still awesome in every right.
    well done


  • Crazychook
    April 7

    Edit | Reply
    Wow...I don't like dark stuff much...but you'd understand why I'm too happy and all that jazz. I've noticed you have a vendetta against capital letters in your titles >.< Anyway...apart from the dark factor this was good. The rhyme worked well, as always with you. You make it look so effortless. Evil lol.


  • Devilish Temptation
    August 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW you have described me! aww what a sad and emotional piece very moving and heartbreaking, powerful in it's texture of words so talented and the flow was perfect

  • Delmar610
    July 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    u turn words into images. its a nice piece!

    images


  • Oleander
    April 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This really is a tear-jerker. Beautiful and in such a simple statement you say more than many can.

    rebelpoet


  • LadyDementia gold member
    March 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    An intense piece, made some impressive dark imagery. Powerfully penned, love the background.


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    March 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This must be very traumatising... I like the way you worked this, for a short piece it has eerie factor and the background just adds to the 'hellish' feel.


  • Redrusty66
    March 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Short and sweet, powerful vocabulary brought about instant imagery. Good work!


  • twilight seduction
    November 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I really think your background is what's fitting my contest here.


  • jamiedoring
    November 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Excellent write...Quite an impact with so few words... :-)


    (oh, check line 5, you have a typo) :-)


  • Auburn Sunrise gold member
    November 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    First of all, I have to say that

    you have some of the creepiest background images I've ever seen!!! Talk about nightmares! LOL.
    As for the poem, I love it. I know these feelings all too well (don't we all though?).
    This hit home particularly hard now, as a friend of mine committed suicide just last week.
    For anyone reading this that is considering suicide, as both a person with suicidal tendencies and a survivor of a suicide victim - I think I have a right to tell you DON'T DO IT! You have no idea how it will affect people - not just those closest to you, but all the other people in the world that you never even realized you made such a difference for. Everyone matters. Everyone has a purpose. Everyone means the world to at least one person. Remember that.

    I'm sorry but I had to share that.
    I really like your insight into this experience. Well done, Dustin.


  • luna-midnight gold member
    November 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    nice poem, it is short and simple but i love how it comes together and flow!!!
    the background is distracting though, but you you can still see the poem which is the important part!!
    excellent write!
    thanks for your entry and good luck
    stephanie =]

1 - 14 of 14