I am an animal. Caged inside my own regrets and insecurities. Being fed lies and guilt. Corrupting my own youth without hesitation. Rotting my own body with alcohol and drugs just to drown out my own unrelenting consciousness. Engulfed by a figment of suffering. Self-inflicted disfigurement of a fading innocence. Spiraling down the same whole I climbed out of. Revolting euphoria caused by inhumane thoughts and images. A nobody with high expectations of society. A nobody with dreams. An attention deprived teenager that just wants an escape. Forcing others into guilt and shame, when I am no better. Another statistic of a broken family, divorced parents, hatred. Failed attempts of suicide, leave me with no fears. Insomniac, bi-polar, and obsessively compulsive. Entertained by horrific details soaked in blood. Intrigued by murder and death. An observer, an artist, a sick mental patient. Thriving off books and poems, eager to escape into a new reality. Haunted by dreams that just enhance these horrors! Macabre. Feelings have reached a mechanic standstill. Cold and bitter, both my own doing. Looking for a scapegoat. Tortured by my own daredevil mentality. Trying to love things that can't be loved... Immune to heartbreak, desensitized to depression. Too many untold secrets, too many hidden lies. Stuck inside my own mind, wanting to release this inner beast, that relentlessly tares at my conscious.. Untameable.. No boundaries. Scars Ceased morals long ago. Grasping at ground that isn't there.
Author notes
The Animal I have become...
A contest entry
- Show me inside your head by icyrose.
900 points, ended November 8, 2007, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Very good
Your words are well chosen and convey a meaning that flows smoothly into the next line of thought. A stunning and eloquent way to acknowledge your danker side of pent up anxiety and frustrations. Your feelings leap out of your words and ignite the emotional fires alive within your verses. You paint a picture with words that bring your memories alive in the reader’s mind, and we too can appreciate your world filled with stress, fear and pain. I sense defeat and isolation when I read this ...it has a life energy that moves me emotionally.
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Do I know you? Because it seems you know me. This is amazingly written, and you definatly showed me exactly how you feel, if not exactly how I feel. Just one concern : "Spiraling down a the same whole I climbed out of" Might wanna re-fraze that sentence! Spell check, hunny
Good luck in the contest!
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Whoever you are, it's like you're talking from inside my head. This piece absolutely displays so many of the fears and paranoias that I myself feel. Your situation is so close to mine that I am glad that for once in my lifetime I do not find myself completely alone with my horrific thoughts and dreams.
Really, this contest was partially to find someone with my same introverted and scarred personality.
I love how you describe everything so truthfully and bluntly, but still using metaphors and describing what is inside your head, exactly what I was looking for.
You did an amazing job describing yourself.
Good Luck
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