What this world needs in times of trouble
Is no more buildings bombed to rubble
No need for children blown to bits
By careless troops or zealous nits
Everyone take my advice
What we need is much more "nice"
What this world needs before it's wrecked
Is not the trash we all eject
Outdoor heat to melt the snow
Or lights that make the whole sky glow
We'll clean up land and sea and air
If we just take a little care
We need no red-necked revolution
Burning books on evolution
No Ayatollahs' brand new rules
Backed by weapon toting fools
We need to do as history's taught
And all of us use much more thought
No crazy schemes that flood whole towns
No smiling leaders faking frowns
No brand new saviour's instant fix
No politicians' dirty tricks
What this world needs and we all know it
Is a lot less twit and a lot more poet!!!
A contest entry
- increase the peace [or something along those lines] by Sofia Nadia.
1050 points, ended November 25, 2007, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please comment below. Spelling or rhyming or scanning corrections welcome.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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great
the rhyme scheme didnt annoy me. congrats on that but seriously, i really liked this piece. you pointed out many of the world's problems, and what's best is that you propose solutions to them. word choice was good, and overall leaves the reader feeling a bit empowered. your best lines:
"No crazy schemes that flood whole towns
No smiling leaders faking frowns
No brand new saviour's instant fix
No politicians' dirty tricks"
good luck and thanks for entering! -
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I am flattered by your comments, not annoying those who don't like rhyme is hard for a rhymer but it suggests that I managed to achieve the ideal here of picking words that are right as words not just right as rhymes. Overall I was rather pleased with the poem, and with the comments I have had.
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great write and good luck.
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Wonderful! I agree 100%...thank you for your entry! It is exactly the type of thinking I am seeking!
Love~
Az
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Well penned, you are spot on. I love how you can weave humour and serious issues together. This line "No smiling leaders faking frowns" is great. Well they all are, but that one is my favourite.
I heard a programme on Radio 4 the other day called Genius, I don't know if you've heard it. It's where people pitch their new ideas to a panel and then get them rated etc. It's really funny. Someone's "genius" idea was to make the Isle of Wight "more symmetrical" (with only the loss of one major town
) haha and you're line "No crazy schemes that flood whole towns" reminded me of it. If you haven't heard it you should listen out for it. Saturday's around noon I think it's on. Just A Minute is fun too!
Anyways good luck in the contest x take care x
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I've been listening to Just a minute for about 40 years! But the king of them has to be I'm sorry I haven't a clue!
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Hahaha cool! I'm going to a recording at De Montford University with my mum and dad haha
. I'm sorry I haven't a clue...that sounds familiar...what happens
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